Beginning to think I made a big mistake with nursery

[meea]

Ds2 started preschool where dd2 goes in April .Before he started I was honest about his problems and he went for 2 visits so that they could watch him before he started .I am now beginning to think that their decision to take him was more financial that anything else.They seem to be unwilling to accept that he needs more support than the other kids and keep telling me that they don't think theres any thing wrong with him. While theres nothing I would like better than to say that theres nothing wrong I feel that his paedatrcian should have a better idea.Ds2 portage worker has been this morning and I finaly plucked up courage to discuss a conversation I had with the nuresry owner about the portage workers visit to nursery.I was told that the portage worker did'nt feel that ds2 needed the help he was getting and that everybody was looking to hard for a dx.I'm sure everyone can imagine how I felt at this.Anyway when we discussed the visit and conversation she was really upset and told me her side of it basicly most of what I had been told was what the owner had said not portage worker.What do I do now do I look for a new nursery from christmas when dd2 goes to school.Sorry it's so long hope you havn't fallen asleep

new nursery asap. DS1 was in a useless nursery to begin with- and when he swapped- my goodness the difference. It is so important that your ds2 is somewhere where his needs are understood and therefore met. It's not easy for nurseries to get the funding/help etc that SN children need so you need someone who will battle for him.

Agree with jimjams. Sounds like your motherly instinct has kicked in too hun. So sorry for you and hope you find a good one soon. Could the portage worker suggest one?

Go with your instinct and look for a nursery where the staff are willing to give the extra help needed.

Made more difficult by the fact that dd2 has been so happy there does'nt want to leave infact.But what has ben right for her may not be right for him.A local integrated resource has been mentioned so I think we will go and look at that.

I would change, My ds2 went to a nursery which he loved, however when autistic ds3 went there they just did not understand him. They were defensive when the portage worker visited.
I also got treated as if I the problem was me. "Lots of children can't talk at three" type comments. Look for somewhere where they have sn experience.

Get a new nursery. Sorry they have made you feel so bad.

Ds2's portage worker has just phoned to tell me that nursery have denied the conversation. Don't know how I can take my kids there next week.

I wouldn't meea. Hard day for you today

Well I didn't take ds2 to nursery as he was ill.
But took dd2 as usual decided to keep quiet and see what happened.Nursery owner asked if i had spoken to portage worker and preceded to tell me that portage worker had said that she was upset as their conversation was in confidence .Nursery owner said that she felt I had a right to know that she had been to visit and what had been said.I told her that I didnt know who had said what and that to be honest I didn't care .I also said that we were thinking about looking for another nursery for him.She said that she could see that it was hard for me and that I was stuck in the middle.What I don't get is how anything either of them have to say about ds2 could be anything they can't say to me.I just want to bang both their heads together then we may get to the truth.

I had a similar experience to Jimjams - DS1 started off at a nursery that was completely unsuitable for him, and when he switched to a smaller nursery where they were able to give him one-to-one attention he was like a different boy. Do change if you're not happy with it.

I would look for a new nursery too. My dd's first nursery was a complete disaster too gawd it takes a while to get it right, but when you do the chilkd benefits so much

Sorry they have been so crap about it. Tbh I wish i had complained about dd's 1st nursery as I actually think they used to discriminate against her and would not refund 100 quid worth of fee's when i took her out of there, but thats another story.

Always trust your instincts. Strangely enough i put ds's name down for a nursery but withdrew when i walked past the nursery and heard very loud shouting from one the teachers for about 15 mins. (I was spying btw) She didnt stop, honest. i was talking to another mum yesterday and she had just took her ds out of there because they left him crying for an hour and half with ANY member of staff comforting him (she was spying too, btw!!!) So, as i say trust your instinct, a Mother is normally right

Just wanted to see if anyone thought this was a good idea.When moaning about ds2 and nursery yesterday a dear friend came up with what could be the answer.My friend worked at a local nursery who had a child with simular problems to my son.This child attended the nursery until he was 3 when he got a place at the local integrated resource he did 5 mornings there and was then transported to the other nursery in time for lunch and the afternoon session.This could give ds2 the best of both worlds as he is happy at his present nursery and has friends.
What does anyone think is it worth looking into.

Would certainly be worth looking in to, there's no harm in trying Meea. It sounds like a good idea, especially as your ds has freinds where he is. x