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Original poster

Being called 'mum' by doctors

33 replies

needmorecoffee · 30/09/2007 16:29

Am I the only one who feels annoyed by this? Its like having your identity taken away. Nurses and doctors do it. I always want to say 'err, i'm not your mother'.
Maybe they can't remember my name?

OP posts:
NAB3 · 30/09/2007 16:30

they do this in maternity words too.

coppertop · 30/09/2007 16:34

I hate this too.

NAB3 · 30/09/2007 16:36

maybe they do it as they have so many people to see they can't rememebr all the names

Original poster
needmorecoffee · 30/09/2007 16:43

They could have a stab at Ms

OP posts:
KarenThirl · 30/09/2007 16:45

Or here's an idea - they could ask.

Hacks me off too.

2shoes · 30/09/2007 17:12

sorry Haven't come accross this. would probally just correct them, I did it once when a man called me darling.

edam · 30/09/2007 17:14

It's not confined to mothers of children who have SN. Although probably even more irritating in that case, given I hear health professionals can be particularly patronising in those circs.

I do object to it, very rude.

Twiglett · 30/09/2007 17:16

I don't care to be honest and agree it is endemic to the health professions

its a shorthand .. and in a way can be inclusive of the child as that is what the child believes you are called

RustyBear · 30/09/2007 17:19

When my 94 year old dad was in hospital I had to ask the nurses not to call him by his first name - he hated it, but was too polite to say anything himself.

edam · 30/09/2007 17:21

Oh, calling elderly people by their first names without permission really irritates me. So patronising.

Twig, my son doesn't think I am called Mum. He knows a. I am Mummy, thanks very much and b. he is the only person who can call me that.

Troutpout · 30/09/2007 17:27

oh i agree...very very odd.

Fossil · 30/09/2007 17:46

They called me 'mum' at my son's nursery, which I didn't really mind, but at £300 a month I did object to being called 'luv' by one of them.

Charlee · 30/09/2007 17:48

I hate this!

I get it all the time, it's more annoying when it's a Dr that works with you on a regular basis, DS's CF specialist always calls me 'mum' i feel like shouting 'i'm not your mum, i have a name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 30/09/2007 17:57

'Tis lazy bedside manner.

Charlee · 30/09/2007 18:00

The thing that really irates me in hospitals and i know i am bound to get shot for this but what the hell

I hate it when you are alying on the hospital bed, your really ill or your child is in the bed and they are ill.
Two Dr's come in and have an examine of you/child then start chatting to each other in another language! This irates me as i really want to know what they are saying!!!!!!

Fossil · 30/09/2007 18:17

Charlee. They're probably talking about the size of your tits if they're men. But SERIOUSLY with the mum thing, I work in a GP surgery and if I write a letter to Joe Bloggs's mum she is probably not going to be called Mrs Bloggs these days. It's so much easier to to put 'dear parent or guardian'.

edam · 30/09/2007 18:19

dear parent or guardian is fine. 'Mum' is not fine. It's patronising. And rude.

mm22bys · 30/09/2007 18:54

I don't like it. DS2 was in hospital when he was tiny, and one of the nurses would always address me as "mum".

His physio called me "mum" one time too. She corrected herself as the mother of one of her other patients got really upset - she said that the one person in the world who can call her mum can't....

It's not too hard for the nurses / drs to ask what your name is, and then make a note in your DCs notes....maybe it should be a standard detail they store!

used2bthin · 30/09/2007 21:31

This one interests me, I also have found it irritating particularly when used by healthcare professinals who spend a lot of time with us as I always think they MUST know my name by now! But pre DD I was a nursery nurse and we always used it even when talking about parents (ie "mum says no sleep after 3" etc)

I hadn't thought of it being helpful to the child though, that does make sense. Strictly speaking they should be calling me mummy though!

used2bthin · 30/09/2007 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Saker · 30/09/2007 22:58

I have always assumed the idea was to include the child although I have even seen in letters "Mum reports that Ds2 didn't talk until he was 2" etc. Can't say it bothers me that much usually but I can see why it might annoy you.

Conversely I always feel slightly uncomfortable when health professionals are calling me "Mrs..." when I am calling them by their first name - this rarely happens with doctors but SALTs, physios, OTs and teachers in Ds2's special school often introduce themselves to you by their first name and encourage the child to use it so you naturally use it too. But they continue to address me as "Mrs..." and it makes for a slightly odd balance.

Flibbertyjibbet · 30/09/2007 23:04

They did this when I stayed in hosp with my ds2 who had a virus - we were in for 5 days. It didn't bother me, they were there for my child and took the trouble to use his name, I was just their patients mum and thats what they call me.
Can you imagine them having to put on their notes/isolation room door

Baby
Flibbertyjibbet
Mr flibbertyjibbet

Or filling up their records with mums and dads names and having to check them before our appointment just so we don't get miffed at being called mum.

When I am being seen as a patient myself the doctors always use my own name so I can't see any reason to get stressed about it.

Sidge · 01/10/2007 18:46

I don't mind it too much.

As long as they get DD's name right I'm not overly fussed about being called 'mum'. They must see so many parents and can't be expected to remember all the first names, and often the parent may have a different surname to the child as well.

lottiejenkins · 02/10/2007 12:28

I've just had this when i rang the childrens ward! I told them my name and they still called me Mum!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrr.......................

magso · 02/10/2007 14:19

Ha! its the only time I get called Mum! Ds uses my name even though Iwould prefer Mummy, and ward staff call me Mum when I would prefer my name!