Don’t think son has autism

[PumpkinP]

My son was referred for an autism assessment 2 years ago this came from the school not from me. He does have an older sibling with asd but I’ve never felt he had it so came as abit of a surprise. Anyway it’s been 2 years now and we’ve waited for the assessment and we just had a telephone appointment today to do some of the assessment but I honestly don’t think he has autism. Is it unusual to be tested for autism and it turns out a child doesn’t have it?? Has anyone been through the process and their child didn’t have it? They also mentioned blood tests if he did have it because having 2 or more children with autism, is that normal?

I'm not sure about blood tests as only one of my 2 is autistic, but I was pretty sure DD was not autistic for a long time yet she still got a Dx. I think (here at least) it is quite rare to get put up for Dx process unless they are pretty confident it will end in Dx.

Autism can be very different in different children. DD goes to a mainstream school and doesn't have any 1:1 support (albeit she does have quite a small class), she has friends and gets along pretty well. But I'm still glad we know she's wired differently, because it explains some of the things she does find hard and helps us prepare her for changes in a way that will work for her.

It seems unlikely he will get a diagnosis if he's not autistic, so is there a reason you're worried about him going through the assessment? Is he at an age where he understands what's going on?

My DD is autistic. As soon as it was suggested I knew that was the answer and sure enough it was.

I didn't think DS was autistic at all, but where we live he was automatically screened because there was 2 confirmed with autism in the family already. He's autistic too. At first I really couldn't see it because he's so very, very different from DD, but over time I've realised that they're right. As he's got older, he's 7 now, it's coming out more and more.

I guess because I have an older child with autism, it’s very clear she has autism. It was suggested from 2, she is in mainstream and has 1:1 at all times, can’t be left alone. Struggles socially and has limited receptive communication. He is like the opposite of her and I would have never have thought it if the school didn’t suggest it. I know all autistic children are different but I felt silly when answering the questions on the phone as he was asking a lot about all the usual signs of autism and I just didn’t feel like any of them applied to him so it got me thinking what if it comes back that he is not? We have waited 2 years for this appointment and I feel a lot has changed in that 2 years and the more time goes on the less I see it. He was originally referred to the paediatrician as he had pica and I thought that was what the appointment was about as the school hadn’t mentioned autism to me it was only at the appointment when the paediatrician told me I was there to see if they would assess for autism.

Should have added he is 8 now and in year 3 and was referred at 6 in year 1. He knows about it has he knows his sister has autism.

It may well be then that he just has 'different' autism to you daughter. His teachers must have some concerns otherwise they wouldn't have referred him.

I used to think that about dd, but as she got older not so much so, and eventually asked for an assessment. yep, autistic, very autistic when looking at her now but at 6 not so much so.

Autism has many many traits, but the main symptoms are Social and Communication issues, severe repetitive behaviours, and severe issues with change. Severe being important as if your child throws a tantrum once a week from not wanting to eat his brocolli, that's not the same as having a meltdown everytime you don't serve him dinner at 6pm exactly.
The genetic test is to rule out or not, genetic issues which have symptoms like autism but if the genetics issues are found they will give a syndrome diagnosis like fragile x, chromosome duplication/deletion etc etc there are many many such syndromes.

If he is social and talks, and is aware of people and know how to interact with people normally, and have no issues with repetitive behaviour or play, and have no issues with change, then I will also be asking whether he is autistic.

But that's why the peds are there for, as it is very very difficult to diagnose, he could just be quirky, and that's why the ped will want reports from left right and centre from others including his teachers who made the referral. By the sounds of things, he is doing well and will just have a label, so not the end of the world. Think about those who don't talk, are not even aware they exist...We are in this position.

I have a son with ASD. Up until very recently I would have said no way could my daughter be autistic too, because she was just too different to him.

He was speech delayed, she wasn’t (complete opposite in fact)
She’s very outgoing, he isn’t.
She’s very social, he isn’t.
She’s very confident, he isn’t.

Having said all that, I knew she wasn’t like her peers and there was something different about her. Thought maybe ADHD, because it just couldn’t be autism. Spent a lot of time thinking about it and doing some research, and it gradually dawned on me that she still could be autistic, it’s just a different presentation. Long story short, she’s waiting for assessment now. And these long weeks at home have got me even more convinced that she’ll get a diagnosis eventually.

@Haworthia
What age did your son start to speak, point etc? thx

@Harmos He started making progress with his speech around age 3. By the time he was 4 his speech was improving massively, and it was then that we realised he definitely was autistic (he was finally able to explain why he was melting down over things, and that’s when we saw his rigid thinking for what it was).

Pointing I don’t remember. I know it’s considered quite a signifier of autism, but I have no memory of when he first pointed.

There's a saying, "if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism."

I used to work in a school and came across many children who were diagnosed as autistic or we strongly suspected they were. They were all different.

My son went to a specialist college and I met many other young people with autism. They were all different. Some were obviously autistic as they showed a complete lack of social skills, some sort of odd behaviour or were prone to melt downs.

But others were so able and seemed to present neurotypically; it was hard to believe they were autistic, but they were. They wouldn't have been in a specialist college for students with autism otherwise.