Feeling fed up with life :-(

[dustystar]

I really have had enough at the moment. Ds behaviour is off the wall and its getting me down He has done so well at school and has been able to go back into his natural year group but now he is struggling and the difference between him and his peers is more obvious than ever. He is unhappy about things too as he is having nightmares again as well as regular meltdowns. The school are great but its all so hard sometimes.

For the last 3 years i have been doing my masters with the OU and for all this time I have planned to get a good job at the end of it doing someting i like for a reasonable wage. Its just dawned on me that although i finish in a couple of weeks DS behaviour means that getting a job just wont be practical.

I was really anxious about going out to work after so many years but I guess i must have been looking forweard to it because i feel gutted that I can't see it happening any time soon I feel resentful too which just makes me feel guilty becuase i know its not ds's fault that he has SN but its just so frustrating.

I looked in the mirror yesterday and it was like looking at a stranger - when did i become this overweight, unfit, stressed out and hagged looking women? I know i'm feeling sorry for myself and God knows there are others out there who have it far worse than me but I just feel so down and trapped

dustystar.....

Just wanted you to know you are not alone and I am thinking of you. As parents we make selfless sacrifices for our children and sometimes it seems we don't get much in return. Its o.k to feel resentful, you are only human and not some machine without feelings. Its o.k to want to work and achieve something for yourself and you will when the time is right. It sounds like your Ds's natural year group is not working for him at the moment. Do the school know how your Ds is reacting at home to the change. You know him best and don't have any reservations about talking to the school if you have any doubts about his class level.

I look in the mirror in the morning and see a stranger looking back at me sometimes, nothing a bit of retail therapy doesn't sort out (and a few less take-aways!). Not much good advice but see if you can have some time to yourself or go out and have a good knees up with a friend and remember who you used to be (it works for me).

I am sure when your Ds is more settled in school (and he will be once he is at his right level), your future desire for work will seem more of a reality.

Keep strong

The school have worked hard with him to get him ready for this move its just proving to be very difficult. I think (hope) things will settle down - he has full time 1:1 and his TAs are great so he couldn't have better support but socially he is way behind his peers and its staring to cause freindship issues now beause his peers are no longer so accepting of his behaviour.

Thanks for replying Retail therapy would be great but we are skint sadly which is another reason that my not earning much is a problem.

How old is Ds. Our Ds1 is 5.7 and has cp. He has just started full-time at ms with a 1:1 all day aswell. He cannot talk and uses a communication aid at school together with some signing (which proves tricky for him as he only has the use of one hand). He is a little shy at school which is understandable but he has this inner strength which is fantastic and now happily gets stuck in bustling his way up corridors with the other kids. I know the time is coming when his peers start to branch off into their little social groups and Ds may very well get left behind. My mum always said to me that "for every bully, there is someone who will put their arm round him and want to be his friend". This is what I draw my strength from.

I really hope your Ds get more settled soon and cut yourself some slack, go have a large glass of something and give the sofa some serious potato action and enjoy!

I did have a large glass of something magsi.

DS is 7 and has AS/ASD and ADHD traits but no dx as yet. His main problems in school are that he disruptive and rough with other children- he really wants to be friends but just doesn't get how to do it. When he was younger the other children didn't mind him being so over the top but now they are getting fed up with it. On an intellectual level he knows how he should and shouldn't play with his friends and why but he just can't seem to put it into practice. He knows that the others are pulling away so he acts out even more to try and make them laugh - its a vicious circle.

Your ds sounds lovely