Sick of ASD melt downs

[cantkeepdoingthis]

I've name changed because I'm ashamed of myself but I am sick to death of autism. I'm sick of the violent melt downs. She's 6 and getting stronger by the day. She can and has popped safety gates off door frame and dented walls. She hits and kicks and bites and head butts and throws anything she can in what seems to be blind rage when she meltdowns. I'm sick of hearing it's a difference not a disability and it's a part of her not something she suffers from - she does suffer. I don't want to celebrate her difference because it's killing me watching her suffer through it when she's in distress and when she can't articulate what is even upsetting her. I'm sick of desperately trying to keep DC2 out of the firing line when she goes off. I'm sick of trying and failing to explain in a way she understands why she can't see her friends or grandparents, why her birthday party and all the things we had countdowns to on the calendar couldn't happen or why her dad is now still at work at bed time.

I just wish autism didn't exist

Agh! That sounds truly hideous. I have an autistic DS who nearly strangled his brother the other day and the 14yo DD with autism starts her meltdowns at 1030pm and would whinge all night about school work if I let her. I have a nasty feeling that she goes to her room and continues to meltdown for another hour or two.

Autism sucks sometimes. But you are not alone. Do you have access to RL support? Phone your GP and have a good cry.

it can be so tough.

Had a big cry yesterday. DH working long hours and nights on a crazy rota due to covid, can't see family who would normally offer support due to covid, and I'm recovering very slowly from having covid myself.

This feels like I'm reading my life. Although we have been offered assessment for autism. So no diagnosis, but I and auntie who has an autistic teenager believe it's there.

Partner is furloughed but struggling with DD and her meltdowns. He previously to lock down broke his ankle so hasn't been able to have his relax of wrestling. This has lead to his anxiety and depression making a big spike.

DD needs a routine to cope but won't accept doing school work. Her CAMHS suggested doing a routine calender.
So she knows breakfast, dinner and tea happens everyday. But to give her the choice of two activities that can and should be down that day.
But if she then kicks off about the activities, to remind her she picked them. (Although reminding her she picked them won't stop the kicking off/meltdown 🙄 which is the main problem.)

I'm at a loss to think of any other techniques as I've literally tried them all 😭

Following. Waiting for doctors appointment for DD 7 to start ball rolling. All her issues have been magnified during lockdown and it's daily meltdowns.

I am single parent working part-time from home. No respite. She's yr 2 and I've asked the school if they might take her but not heard back.

It's really affecting my mental health which wasn't great from the start.

We live in terraced housing which doesn't help with meltdowns!!

I'm really at the end of my tether. Nothing seems to be working. Any tips to avoid massive meltdowns would be great. I've done the usual like removing devices etc. Also reading the explosive child.

The melt downs should get better with age..(desperately hanging onto this as I was sat on yesterday during a meltdown and he threatened to punch me, again.)