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SN children

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Original poster

How will I now manage - money based?

18 replies

Bumblelion · 05/10/2004 15:51

Single parent, husband left 2 years ago, with 3 children - aged (nearly) 12, 7.5 and (nearly) 3. Youngest has Sotos Syndrome, a genetic disorder that has just been diagnosed.

I work part-time (3 days a week in the office)and my youngest DD goes to nursery. She used to go twice a week (and to my sister in law the other day I work) but my local daycare advisor recommended she went 3 times a week as it was so beneficial for her and she had come on so much.

Anyway, at the beginning of September she started 3 days a week.

I got help financially from my local council towards her childcare costs (and claimed the rest of the amount from child tax credit - you get 70% of what you are paying, or something like that).

Anyway, I could always just about manage with the income that I had.

Have just had a f*cking phone call from the local daycare advisor (who recommended my DD increased her days) to say that they have now received a copy of my tax credits and they have agreed that they will only help towards her costs until the end of this month.

That means that at the end of October I am going to have to start paying the full cost (but can also claim the full cost from the children's tax credits).

My childcare costs are going to increase significantly. I currently pay £30 a week (day care cost is currently £28 a day but the childcare advisor paid £18 of this for each day). This I know is very reasonable. Because the help is now going to stop I am going to have to pay £84 a week which is going to make a huge difference to my daily living life.

Is it actually worth me going to work any more - what with the breakfast club fees for my DS, my train fares, nursery costs, etc. Feel like jacking it all in.

I know a lot of people pay a lot more than this in childcare costs but I would never have put my DD in for the 3 days if I had known that after 2 months I was no longer going to be getting any help for her.

OP posts:

Jimjams · 05/10/2004 15:57

How does Sotos Syndrome affect your dd? Do you get DLA? If you got DLA then you get more tax credits. Your could also look at carers allowance and see whether it is worth you working. I think it would be worth checking to see whether your dd qualifies for DLA.

SoupDragon · 05/10/2004 15:58

Won't she get government funding when she reaches 3?

Original poster

Bumblelion · 05/10/2004 16:01

I am currently getting DLA for my DD. Sotos Syndrome is a genetic syndrome (although neither me or her dad are carriers, sometimes it just happens). It makes her large for her age, gives her certain facial charactistics, but in line with this gives her global developmental delay - behind in everything. She is in clothes age 4-5, wears a size 10 shoe and isn't 3 yet. Had a development check carried out on her in August and they put her developmental age at about 22 months, nearly 1 year behind.

I just needed a moan - just feel a bit p*ssed off. I feel bad enough and guilty enough about working anyway but wouldn't be able to live if I didn't - who would pay my mortgage, bills, etc.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bumblelion · 05/10/2004 16:02

Sorry, Soupdragon - our posts must have crossed.

Do all children get government funding for nursery places at age 3? If so, this might be why they are stopping the help as she turns 3 at the end of this month.

OP posts:

snmum · 05/10/2004 16:04

they get funding the term after they are 3

so your dd would get funding after christmas for 2 1/2 hours a day

Freckle · 05/10/2004 16:05

Do you receive any maintenance from your dh? Could you lean on him to pay the extra? If he paid it directly to the nursery, it isn't classed as income and so wouldn't affect any benefits you receive.

Dingle · 05/10/2004 16:05

It has been mentioned to me by one of our local pre-schools that in some areas, if a child has SEN they can sometimes get funding the term before their 3rd birthday instead of the term after!! Personally it didn't really effect us so I didn't persue the info. It might be worth worth mentioning- when is your dd 3?
Like Jimjams mentioned, find out about DLA, from that other benefits may be available to you!
Good luck.

snmum · 05/10/2004 16:05

what rate dla do you get?

there are ways to get more if you get dla, though I am still trying to find out how! davros will most probably know

Jimjams · 05/10/2004 16:11

Was going to ask what rate dla you get as well. You may be able to get mobility from 3 as well (if she qualifies for higher rate- if not may have to wait until 5). Are you on the correct tax credit for dla iyswim?

Original poster

Bumblelion · 05/10/2004 16:11

I get the middle rate of DLA for my DD.

I do get maintenance from my ex. but no where near enough, although he does give me what he can - he is a low earner, living with another lady (if I can tell her that!) and her child.

My eldest DD has just started high school, already started paying/paid for 3 trips - one at £20 to see a play at Christmas, £380 for trip to Paris in April and £28 for day trip to France in July.

Her high school has a savings club which I have joined - only save £15. The payments I have made so far have not been out of the savings club as I only started in August.

I mentioned to ex. about the Paris trip and said that I could only afford for her to go if he helped me out by paying half. He said that he would reduce my monthly payments by £30 but would pay £60 into a savings club that would pay for her school trips. Last Wednesday had to pay the £28 for the France trip so I told him that I needed this out of the savings club he has started, otherwise I would be £58 down this month - the £28 for the trip and the £30 that he is saving for me.

I might mention to him that I need extra help solely because of my youngest childcare costs.

Ex. is still on the mortgage in name. I suppose you could say he is contributing to the mortgage by what he pays each month, but if he is then I am not getting anything for the children. What he pays doesn't cover the mortgage or bills, not even half.

Oh shit! Life is crap at times.

OP posts:

bundle · 05/10/2004 16:13

bumblelion, to me it sounds as if he isn't paying anywhere near as much as he should. is his new partner working? (she said provocatively..)

Original poster

Bumblelion · 05/10/2004 16:18

Bundle, yes his new partner is working. She works at the same firm! That is how they met and that is how I have met her in the past. Always said to H that she wanted to get her hands on him. How right I was!

OP posts:

Twinkie · 05/10/2004 16:21

Have you checked how much you would get through the CSA - are you divorced - was there a settlement??

Think you would get 25% of his income if you were to go through CSA - that is without taking into account a settlement froma judge and maybe Spousal if you went to court??

Tinker · 05/10/2004 16:21

Don't think your ex husband's new partner's income comes into any assessment for maintenance.

snmum · 05/10/2004 16:24

i am going to sound very mean now, but does your daughter HAVE to go on the paris trip?

i know my mum and dad just couldnt afford to send me on the trips when I was at school.

snmum · 05/10/2004 16:25

it is 15% i think of income if there is another child living at his address

Davros · 05/10/2004 16:34

Wracking my brains but I think everyone's said everything so far.

DLA, try to get higher rate
Carer's Allowance, might be worth considering not working
Tax credits
ExP and maintenance, try to get more
would statementing help at all? Can't see how really but might be worth checking
Soc Svs, I'm sure you could get some hours from them but that won't help with paying for childcare I don't think
Surestart or anything like that any good?
Family fund? Not sure what for though....
Local or national charities? Sorry not much help

Original poster

Bumblelion · 06/10/2004 09:45

Snmum - I can see why you are asking if my eldest DD NEEDS to go on the Paris trip, but the way the invite is worded it says that children would be at a disadvantage if they did not attend. Also, I don't want her not to be able to go, just because of my nursery costs for my youngest DD. At the end of the day, all of my three children are "special", not just my youngest with sotos syndrome.

Twinkie - we are not divorced, or even "legally" separated. We are separated, but have not gone down the "solicitor" route. We have been living apart for 2 years now and do talk about getting the divorce settled (the split is now amicable on both parts) but at the end of the day I can't afford solicitor fees at the moment. His name is still on the mortgage as I cannot afford the £50K to pay him off and to get his name off the mortgage.

After a night indoors with my children, I feel so much better this morning. My ex. normally sees the children on a Wednesday night at my house (although he has not been able to make it for the last 3 weeks or so due to work commitments) but I am going to mention this slight problem to him. Quite reasonably, I am going to say S's day childcare costs have increased significantly (or what I am going to have to pay has increased significantly) but I am going to see whether, on top of what he already gives me each month, he can give me £10 a week for my eldest DD's school lunches and £10 a week towards my son's breakfast club fees. At least that means each week I won't be struggling to find £20.

OP posts:

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