Dentist visits and child with disability

[Niffler75]

Hi lovely people. I have an upcoming dentist visit for my 9 year old son. I absolutely dread them. I remain as calm as possible and our dentist is brilliant but my son is so unpredictable.
Due to his needs he has slow processing speed, autistic traits and lots of sensory sensitivities. He climbs all over the seat, walks around the room touching everything and it's always touch and go as to whether he will cope with the actual check up!
I guess I want to ask people their experiences, if there is anything I can do to make things easier. It just feels rubbish! 😔

I've got one of those.
I always have my appt in the morning and remind them to be calm and factual, and definitely not try to jolly ds along nor claim 'this won't hurt' when any odd sensation will be perceived as pain and then the dentist has lied and then no chance...

So dentist and assistant remember to say 'this will probably feel kinda wierd... Please don't chew the mirror so hard' and we manage a basic checkup. Though twice ds has refused to open his mouth - the dentist has said not to push it and try again in a month, that's why kids get free NHS appointments.

Can he be referred to the community dentist? They see both adults and children that would struggle in a normal dental practice ,my so is under our local.one and they are brilliant with him .

Yes there is a community dentist option. I think as my son is getting bigger and is much more demand avoidant this may have to be an option for us. It's just so frustrating and at times I hate to say a bit embarrassing as my son can be very unpredictable.
It's not his fault at all bless him. I just want to support him the best I can!

Yes I agree ask to be referred to a more specialist dentist they are a lot more understanding and experienced in working with children with additional needs.

Thanks everyone. 😁 I feel a bit more confident now discussing this option and asking for referral to the specialist community dentist if things prove challenging at my son's dental appointment!

My ds4 has learning difficulties and a cleft lip/palate with all the dental problems that go with that. Luckily our dentist is very good with him and also let ds press the buttons on the chair to make it go up and down which ds loves.

My DD was sent to the community dentist because of her severe anxiety - there was a huge room with calming music and a lovely, patient dentist...it was like a bloody spa!

@LonginesPrime I could do with a spa! 🤣

I tried asking for a referral but was told DS "wasn't bad enough" to qualify. He has had a couple of bad experiences with dentists putting the fluoride stuff on his teeth without him understanding, and he basically experienced the weird taste/texture as pain. As a result he is very anxious and every dentist appt gives us a couple of weeks of hell, but I am at a loss how to improve things.

He brings his soft toys in and we encourage him to focus on their texture to calm him down. He also likes the texture of a sieve so we might try bringing one of those next time! But really it's a bit of a nightmare and a 2 parent job to take both children.

@HoHoHolly Gosh it's really stressful isn't it! I hope you find an easier way forward with dental appointments. We have ours tomorrow! 😱

I hope it goes (or went) a bit better than expected @Niffler75

@HoHoHolly It was ok, my son managed to sit for a few minutes which is brill. He does need a small filling so needs to go back.
Ugh the guilt! Tooth brushing is a whole other ball game. He faces partly away from me and can clamp his mouth so I can't get to the back teeth properly. I have been headbutted and screamed at. We do have a rule that he has to brush twice a day or no sweets etc. 😢

Our community dentist is wonderful. He sees Ds every 3 months so he gets used to going there, there is no pressure to even sit in the seat it is all taken at his own pace.

We were referred because the normal dentist said he needed 3 fillings - but 3 years on he hasn’t needed any and his teeth have got no worse.

He now sits in the chair long enough to let them check his teeth and put the gel on to protect them.

Have you tried an electric toothbrush? That was a massive help for us

Well done him, but what a pain about the filling. Please don't feel guilty, brushing sounds really difficult and if you push it too much you'll just traumatize him and make it worse (been there, done that.)

The game changer for us with toothbrushing was when people on here (thank you ladies!!) recommended some non minty toothpaste. We now use Boots berry flavour 3+ which has the same fluoride level as adult toothpaste. There's also a specialist low foam, low taste one called Oranurse which a pharmacy can order in apparently. Also DS is upset by the foam and we manage this by using a dry brush. Half way through he spits out and we have a second dry brush to use for the other half. Of course your DS's issues with toothbrushing may be different, but these things have helped here. It took until DS was 10 for him to be able to tell us what it was about brushing that he found so difficult, so we had a lot of years of just "making him" in the hope he'd get used to it. He didn't.

It's hard because if I force him too much he will totally refuse brushing and I will probably get punched in the process! 😕
We use an electric toothbrush and he does like minty toothpaste but it has to be a certain make with the stripes. The dentist wants him to use one with a higher fluoride content and it has no stripes so we shall see how we go!