15yo Aspie and homework/revision

[primrosemaud]

Hi, my 15yo DS (with Asperger's) is in year 10, and the homework/revision expectations are rising. He's in a mainstream state secondary. As with many auties, he's bright but struggles at school for a range of reasons. He is utterly unmotivated to do ANY revision for tests, but really needs to if he's going to scrape though GCSEs when they come. He has poor self-esteem with regard to school work but deals with it by 'accepting' he'll do badly in exams, rather than try. I've talked about how, despite seeming pointless to him now, they are hoops you have to jump through to keep your options open. I know that actually there are many ways to make your way though life, and we've had one year of secondary home educating, but as we're now on this path it seems counterproductive not to try a bit harder.

So, my question is- has anyone successfully impressed upon their auti teenagers the need to do at least the bare minimum, or am I just making things worse??

Following with interest as we are in the same position.

My Ds is year 11 and was diagnosed with ASD last year. It's been a very hard journey to diagnosis and he now has significant mental health difficulties. We are struggling to get him help as camhs have rejected his referral.

Homework and revision is a nightmare. He has zero motivation and gets stressed and anxious at the thought of revising. He's been anxious all of half term. I'm going to email the Senco tomorrow to see if the school can offer any more support. I'm not optimistic though as support has been lacking for him. His gcses start on 11th May.

Sorry I'm not a lot of help but you are not alone with this issue.

An expensive option is tutoring. My DS does a lot better when teaching is 1-1. There is nowhere to hide in a 1-1. He struggles keeping up in a lesson in the classroom. I couldn't teach him he would've accept that but a tutor works. I would focus on maths and English as there are few options without these GCSEs.

Also think ahead to what he wants to do - could be Btecs or courses in horticulture or whatever he is interested in and then show him what he needs to achieve in his GCSEs to get onto the course.

Without a concrete thing to work towards for many autistic kids it's hard to motivate themselves.

Turning their obsessions/enthusiasms into potential career has been best piece of advice we've been given.

Thanks byflretpuddles yes tutors may work better, it's just he's so opposed to the idea! Maybe in Year 11 we could that.

Sorry Punxsutawney and notyourtypicalnerd that you have the same difficulties. It's bloody hard isn't it...

primrose it is hard! Ds actually has the potential to do very well but his anxiety, poor planning/organisational skills and his complete lack of motivation means that he will probably not reach it. He is doing 10 gcses, so 26 exams in the summer.

I did offer to get Ds a tutor but he really did not want that.

I'm not sure if your Ds is the same primrose but my Ds struggles to see very far into the future. That makes it very hard to see the benefit of homework and revision. Ds also has low self esteem, so he doesn't see that he could ever be successful.

I would definitely keep an eye on it. Ds was very much the same in year 10 as he is now and I thought that he might be more motivated in year 11. As yet he isn't and his anxiety has risen.

I'm really dreading the next few months as Ds's mental health is fragile too.

punxsutawney you could be describing my DS!! I too am worried about DS's mental health and so don't want to put him under too much pressure. Striking the balance is a difficult one!

I was also going to suggest a tutor... but one who works with special needs children who has high expectations and tutors high school children who are of GCSE standards. They use a range of materials and can suggest apps which would help your boy see if it something "fun".

We have special needs tutor, he is fantastic !

Thank iloceicedtea yes I increasingly think this would be good. Especially if they can suggest good apps, video tutorials etc

If you can afford it primrose then maybe try the tutor before the end of year 10. In hindsight I do wonder now if I should have done that for my Ds. Unfortunately it's too late now!

I emailed the Senco yesterday but as expected there is not much the school can or are willing to do. She is going to forward the email on to his teachers but not sure how many of them will try and help.

ASD means it's a far more complex situation than a teenager just refusing to to their school work.

You sound on the ball though primrose, good luck with it all!