Does this sound like SN? DS is two.
He won’t play with his toys normally. He has Lego but he never builds, he just tips it out and kicks it or throws it. He has vehicles but he doesn’t drive them, he just crashes them into the wall repeatedly. He has a kitchen but he doesn’t pretend to cook, he just throws stuff around or crams all his Lego into the cupboard. He has a sandpit but he won’t sit in it, he just wanders off looking for stones to throw or sticks to poke things with. He’s learned that I say Ouch if he hits me so now he hits me (or an inanimate object) repeatedly and says Ouch ouch ouch.
He can hear but he doesn’t listen. He ignores me most of the time. If I say no or stop he ignores me. He never cuddles me, if I cuddle him he struggles to escape. If I’ve been out he shows no interest in saying hello or offering affection. He just claws my jumper and says Milk milk milk, that’s as close as he gets to showing any interest in me. If I try to dress him he runs away, if I grab him he just goes limp and buckles his legs and laughs. I see other mums talking to their DC and getting a response and being cuddled, I see DC behaving like a person and not just running away or collapsing or trying to escape, and I’m jealous.
He doesn’t sleep through the night. He can still be awake at midnight sometimes. I get no adult time with DH. He wakes up every hour or two and cries when I say lie down and go back to sleep. He gets hysterical if I put him in his own bed by himself.
At playgroup all the other kids sit on the rug with their mums and listen to the story and do the actions and smile, including kids younger than DS. DS just wanders off to play with the toys and shows no interest in participating. At the end when everyone says thanks for playing today X, thanks for playing today Y, he’s the only one who doesn’t smile when his name is mentioned. In fact he very rarely smiles. Everyone else’s child smiles in photos, I’ve stopped sharing photos of DS because I’m embarrassed by his constant stony expression.
The lack of normal play and communication is getting me down and I don’t know if I’m expecting too much or if there’s something wrong.