Social anxiety in toddler

[Birdyfly]

Has anyone got any experience?
My DD is 2.5 and as long as I can remember she's cried as strangers. She's got better but she's still far from "normal" in that respect.
I take her to playgroup where she's a bit hit and miss. She's ok if no one speaks to her or touches her but will cry and grab me if they do. She's played alongside another toddler with the same toy before but because they weren't interacting with her.
I'm at a loss.
We are currently seeing paeds about possible ASD but I really don't know what's going on here.

Anyone? :(

Giving this a little bump for you OP

Anyone?

What are the other concerns you have that have led to the investigation into ASD?

I really don’t know if this is behaviour associated with ASD. My ds is autistic and he wasn’t afraid of strangers in that way.

Playing alongside other children rather than with them is common in children with ASD.

What other concerns do you have that have led to investigation into possible ASD?

Thanks for replying. There's a few little traits there - like flapping a little when she's excited, repeating some phrases (mostly appropriately). I used to be concerned with her response to her name and understanding but I feel this has definitely improved recently. She's also picking up more words all the time so I really don't know what to think anymore. It's just exhausting.

Are you in the UK?

None of her behaviour really sounds exhausting, is there anything else going on? Do you have other children?

Has she had a hearing test? That’s usually the first suggestion when there are concerns about response to name, just to rule it out.

Sorry OP, I know toddlers in general can be exhausting. I didn’t mean to sound dismissive

My child had massive social anxiety even with family, particularly adults. She cried if someone tried to talk to her even people she knew. I took her to lots of clubs when she was young but she was like it from a young baby. I struggled with it and found myself apologising or making excuses for her behaviour. I thought she may have Asperger's (she doesn't) Then I met by chance a GP whose daughter was the same. She said to me she's highly sensitive "accept the way she is. Make no fuss about it, don't push her and in time she'll get better". I did exactly as she told me. I still included her yet made no fuss at all if she didn't want to join in. She started school and had a strict but understanding teacher. She said to me "I never ask her to go first in doing anything. I always let her observe so she can see it's ok then once she's seen other children do things without pressure she will have a go". She has come on in leaps and bounds since. Its a slow process and is still a work in progress but I'm much more relaxed and so is she. Good luck

@openupmyeagereyes that's ok. It's moreso the worry that is exhausting! She has a 10 month old sister. She did have a hearing test but the woman carrying it out wouldn't listen to me when I said she didn't like strangers and so DD wouldn't cooperate. I have no concerns with her hearing if I'm honest.
There were more worries - communication and lack of pointing.

@Mrswalliams1 wow - for the first time I feel like I can relate! Your child sounds exactly like mine with people. How was she with other children? My DD sort of flinches like she's not sure what to expect from them sometimes. Granted she hasn't had much experience with them but now regularly goes to a playgroup. Thank you so much for replying and I'm glad your daughter is progressing so well :)

There is a book called The Highly Sensitive Child, that might be helpful.

It’s good that you are seeing a paed. Hopefully they’ll get to the bottom of things, though be prepared for it to take some time as she is still so young.

In the meantime, parent her in the way you think best supports her and don’t listen to criticism from others.

If you do think it’s autism then there are a couple of good first books to look at: How to raise a happy autistic child and An early start for your child with autism. The Hanen books are great for communication too.

Birdyfly she wasn't too bad with other children. No worse than an average shy child. It was mainly adults. I agree with the book 'highly sensitive child' it described my daughter. She has no pain threshold, struggled with clothes that were uncomfortable, made a big deal over a tiny scratch etc. Stick with it. Just remember no pressure and let her observe and do things when she is ready.

Thank you - I'll definitely have a look at those books.