5 year old thinks she is an adult

[Mummyscrewedup]

5 year old has lots of social emotional difficulties, speech difficulties etc. One of the biggest things is that she sees herself as an adult not a child. I've been told I just need to be firm on boundaries to prove she is a child and I'm the adult but she literally doesn't get it.

How do I make her get it? She is attempting to control other children at school in much the same way as the teachers would. For instance today she was stopping the other children from eating at lunch time..

Um, I'm not sure about the boundaries advice.

Why is she doing it? Why did she want the other children to stop eating? Is she enforcing rules? Or is something about their eating upsetting her? Sensory issue with food smells?

Or is she mimicking the teachers?

Do you think it's anxiety? Controlling behaviours can often be part of anxiety.

I have not met anyone yet who has this issue but DS does! It's a social hierarchy and theory of mind issue. I have explained a hundred times why adults are different to children but he doesn't understand. He says the only difference is that adults are bigger. As he got older he understood that adults are older as well but he can't comprehend why they are in charge as he thinks everyone feels and thinks the same as him.

I have done a lot of "I am an adult and that means I make the rules" and explain why, I have said adults have been at school longer and passed tests for things like driving, and have also had teachers explain why there is a difference (as he will listen to a teacher as "that's the rules"). I still don't think he fully understands and it certainly wasn't helped by his school teaching about children's rights and how "children have equal rights". Thanks for that school!