Is the ASD assessment for toddlers stressful ?

[autismadhd]

Ds is 2. I’m extremely worried about him and the behaviours he displays
I have an older child with ASD but ds is a lot lot more extreme

At his 2 year check the HV said about ASD and that she will visit again. Her visit (20 mins) was highly stressful for him he can’t cope. He was upset the whole time screaming and terrified as well and was up all night repeating things he had done when she was there (Gestures) and screaming (he has been holding my face whilst standing on me so I couldn’t look at her the whole time

In the past stressful situations have made him physically ill, he once got so distressed at the gp he then temporarily lost sight and had to go to a and e and we were told he probably had best something croons and screaming or was a stress response

We can’t go on the bus. He used to be ok and then once someone looked at him and said hello he hurt himself trying to get out of the buggy then I tried to comfort him and he attacked me and I had to get off the second I stepped off he stopped. If we see a bus now he starts again he’s terrified

I think he needs a referral but I’m scared the actual process will be so stressful for him and he will become unwell
He isn’t talking yet has about 4 words

Every morning he wakes and opens his eyes and screams and cries
I need some help but I’m worried what it the assessment like ? My older child was much older at diagnosis so I have no idea what it’s like for a toddler ?

I’m really confused and tbh exhausted

*burst something crying

Could you ask that she sees you on your own for any information you need to give her, look at the MChat-R for the likely questions you'll be asked. Also ask that she uses her experience of her first visit to describe his behaviour.

Obviously at some point he'll have to be seen, but his stress response is so strong that I think you need to be very firm with whoever wants to see him and tell them you'll remove him from the meeting before he makes himself ill. Give them copies of the A+E findings and tell them what happened after the first HV's visit.

he has been holding my face whilst standing on me so I couldn’t look at her the whole time
My DD did that when she was young and someone was in our home trying to talk to me, I've never heard anyone else mention it before, I really thought it was a one-off.

Thankyou I will mention to her it’s probably better I see her alone. It was just so upsetting for him but she was a stranger he won’t even tolerate his siblings except one it’s just so hard.

He does the face / head holding a lot he has to have me looking directly at him and gets so distressed. I knew a home visit would be better though as the alternative was a clinic setting and after the gp incident I couldn’t risk it. Every day seems to start terribly with screaming and once he finally calms down it’s then just trying desperately to avoid the next problem

HV said it was good he wanted eye contact with me but then I’m unsure if that’s a good diagnostic clue because my other asd child always had eye contact (if she wanted to but if someone was willing to talk about one of her obsessions she would have fixed eye contact and not stop talking) ds can’t really talk though so it’s different she was asking me are they similar but they aren’t really But I had more time with my first so I was able to make the whole day about her but now with other children sometimes ds has to do things he doesn’t want to

He barely eats. Rejects anything that isn’t a biscuit really or milk.
Teeth brushing is traumatic for him and he has problems with sleeves if they go up under a jumper he gets v v upset