Is this ASD?

[Bpeep]

My son is two and half year old and recently started to speak in one words. His communication will be like, if he feels chill, he woukd say "chill" then tap me saying "come" and take to coat stand and point out to coat saying "coat'. Same thing for snacks or water. He would come by tapping me and take me to kettle or snack cupboard and ask like 'wawa" or "bibi'. If he wants to sleep, he says "come", takes me to bedroom, he would push me down on bed and sleep next to me. This is how he is communication his wants.
My neighbours child, who is only two also speak in one or two words. But it is like mommy wata, or mommy bed, dada come something like. My son has good eye contact with me and family. He plays with my eldest, will repeat word by word whatever we say. He knows alphabet, numbers ,1_10, colors, shapes, many animal names. When he sees someone cry on TV or outside, he would turn to me and says with action "cuy'. When he hears some sound outside our home, he would turn to me and says"soun' keeping his finger on his ears. When I take him out he in s stroller, I would keep your hand inside, he would immediately put his hand inside his pocket or underneath the cover. When my eldest hit him on his hand or head, he would come to me and shows his hand or head and say"Angie(angry) and expect me to rub on his back. He pretend phone, compu keyboard and piano and keep saying "pio" when passing his fingers on it. While eating his fav food, he would eat and rub at his tummy and says" mmm ammy,". He can use no appropriately either by shaking head side by side or saying na na or no no.
Inspire of this, his nursery has talked to us for possible ASD assessment. They say he is not responding to name calling many times, then lining up cars in nursery and hand flapping when excited. They he is playing along with kids, but not mingling with them. They have asked us our consent to proceed forward. We are bilingual. He can say hai and bye bye when asked.

Please pour in your opinion can my child be on spectrum. At home, we checked response to names, he is not responding when he watches TV or playing with toys. Other times he would respond.

Very hard to tell. I can't see any harm in going through with the assessment? The fact he is communicating well with you is obviously brilliant, and nothing you say about how he is at home sounds particularly "autistic". But on the other hand if he's not playing with the other kids at nursery in a way that they think is unusual (similarly the lining up and flapping - both of which are pretty normal 2.5yo behaviours, but a question of degree) then I can't see much downside in getting it checked out? Even if it turns out not to be ASC you'll learn something about him and how he plays/interacts that might be useful to you and nursery in supporting his social development.

I was a bit resistant when our nanny talked to us about getting our DD assessed as I was worried about labeling her (and generally just didn't want it to be true because I didn't understand anything about autism at the time and had very negative ideas about it) but actually the Dx has been helpful in parenting her in a way that works for her and helping build her social confidence. She always communicated well with us at home (though less pointing at things and asking for things than your son is doing), but avoided playing with other children when she was that kind of age.

She doesn't need any specific support at school but she has had bits of support here and there that have just helped her take part in things and get the most out of school and friendships. So far at least (age 5.5) I think having a Dx has been positive for her.

Perhaps go with getting it looked into. It may be nothing, and fantastic he communicates with you.

Is he very noise sensitive or have any other apparent sensory behaviours?

He is still quite young and it can become more evident as they get older. It may be nothing but worth looking into I’d say.

Autism is a social communication disorder (not a speech disorder, not a lining up car disorder, not a 'not replying to his name' disorder, not a 'not mingling with kids' disorder, etc) so that is the area that you need to look at, his social communication. Does he point to share interests with you? (like a plane in the sky), does he look at you from a distance when he is cautious or unsure (social referencing), does he look at you when he does something that he is proud of? (praise seeking), does he show/give you interesting things that he finds, or used to do this when he was younger? (like an interesting rock or leaf from the ground), etc.

I do agree with you to a point AladdinMum, but "mingling with other kids" is also a social communication issue. DD always had good communication with us, and the ways that her communication with us was unusual (reversing pronouns, late pointing) were quite subtle to my untrained eye. Where her autism was more clear was with other children/in less familiar settings. Despite that apparent "sublety" (to my eyes) she was given a clear diagnosis (and an ADOS score that was not even particularly borderline). So I always think it's worth exploring if concerns are raised ...

@LightTripper, I agree with you but at 2.5Y old they are still parallel playing, 'mingling with other children' at this age is going to be very hit and miss and not really expected - as they get older I do agree that this is important. Late pointing to share interests tends to not be subtle, i.e. they either point to share or not, and if not by 18M, then it is nearly always concerning and should be investigated further.

That's a very fair point (and although concerns were raised about DD at around 2 she wasn't Dx'd until nearly 4, I suspect for this reason).

Thank you all for the replies.
@LightTripper , we have given our consent for to process with the process from nursery. From the time they told us, I keep thinking what I did not notice in him as ASD. It's been a month since I slept for more than six hours. My husband is in complete deniel. We think he is shy and may be speaking two language made to behave like this, I don't know.

Thank you @blossom4538 for the reply. No he is not sensitive to noises. He likes to jump most of the time on bed, when he is at home. Sometimes he runs back and forth.

Thanks for the reply @AladdinMum, after reading message, I checked my son.
When we go out, and if I am not around, he would search for me, and once he sees me he would come running to me with smile.
While going out, he would show bus and aeroplane or dog and say it. He will keep repeating till I say yes, that is a bus or dog etc. So far, he has not brought any toys to me to show. When he says ato z, we all used to clap and give hifi. If any of us didn't clap, he would go near them and ask for hifi by saying "ofi". He keep repeating a_z to get claps and hifi from us. One-time, I wantedly closed my eyes and turned my face, when he was saying atoz, he cried and forcefully he turned my face, then again he repeated atoz. When I clapped and gave hifi, he was happy.
At nursery, they said he is not following simple instructions, like take ball, put this in box, sit down, come here and few more. But at home, once I was pressing cloths in bedroom, he was watching TV in living room, he came and hugged me from behind while pressing cloths, I said "go, off TV". He left me, went to living room and switched off with remote, and came back to me, I was surprised. But sometimes, at home also he won't pickup toys and put it in cupboard.
He did fewthing when he was less than 18 months. Like get your books, socks even diaper. He would bring the to me. When I ask him where is mummy's phone, he would go and look at phone stand. When o asked where is the eyes, he used to keep his finger on his eyes or a baby's picture face.

I am so confused that he is different in nursery and at home.

Just want to add apoint to pointing. Just googled after and learned about pointing. Have two kids, still I don't remember how my eldest pointed when he was young. He is not on asd. Now thinking whether my second one did when he was young. No didn't I think. I remember well because we were in s different house till he was 18months old. even when a month before his second birthday, when I tell him bring your coat, he would not point that time, he will extend his arm like taking it from distance and cry. He started to talk only four months before. Only when he started talking, he started to point out things like bus or dog outside our home and inside our home. Before speech, no he did not do.
But that time he could show his three or four body parts correctly. Otherwise pointing started after second birthday. Please tell me is he ASD or not.

Please tell me is he ASD or not

Nobody on the internet or at school or nursery can answer that.
No self-teats or screening tools can answer that. All they can do is give an indication. If you think he fits the criteria, then ask for an assessment, details on the link below.

Usually autism is diagnosed by a team of medical professionals, Paed, Ed Psych, SLT and OT, after meeting the child usually quite a few times and performing a series of tests.

Here's the diagnostic criteria, please read the whole page.
www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/children.aspx
"The characteristics of autism vary from one person to another, but in order for a diagnosis to be made, a person will usually be assessed as having had persistent difficulties with social communication and social interaction and restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviours, activities or interests since early childhood, to the extent that these "limit and impair everyday functioning".

Sorry, 'self-teats' should say self-tests

@Bpeep he certainly has a long list of positives which is great! though not pointing to share interests until after 2YRs old does sound a little concerning and that alone could be enough to warrant further investigation in my opinion.

@BlankTimes and @aladdinmom, we have given consent to proceed with assessment process. Thank you for your replies.

@Bpeep

That's a good thing to do, it will stop you wondering about him, after the assessment, you will know his strengths and know about any concerns and have recommendations on how to deal with them, which is a lot more than most parents know about their children at that age.

Thank you for the reply @blanktimes

Your child is very young, he might not be confident around other children and that is why he is on his own and also many children communicate in that way, he could have a speech disorder or something else. I don't believe he is autistic as my DD is autistic and she never talks to me or looks me in the eyes. She isn't social at all and she doesn't understand social cues. She is extremely cleaver and has not long started high school however, I think you should test him when he is older if he doesn't grow out of everything

My DS has asc and he talks to me non stop!! What he struggles with is how to interact with peers and understand unwritten social rules. Don't wait until hes older, sorry but that's terrible advice! Often challenging classroom behaviour stems out of sensory overload for our kids, we want teachers to be understanding not labelling them as being naughty! Trying to teach or for hat matter parent my child in the same way as a NT child would be a disaster!

Thank you for your reply @Bestmummybunny. I am also confused when nursery told us about ASD assessment. One of the concern from nursery was he was not mingling with other kids. Like if they come near him, he moved way from them and many other things that said. Anyway he is on the way to assessment preprocess.

Thanks for posting your reply @LottieBalloo. Can I know what made you suspect ASD in your kid when he was younger?

I was shocked like you when his preschool mentioned it. I though he was quirky but I had no other experience of small children, whereas teachers do. Looking back, probably his spinning, not pointing to denote shared interest, not liking eye contact, not being very verbal, need for routines, preferring to interact with adults, need for big smushy hugs, always looking in cupboards, tipping things from one container to another, and moving away when other children came to talk to him. Also repeating phrases a lot when he did start to speak.

Now he has very fixed ideas about things.e.g. red means stop at traffic lights and signs, therefore he didnt want to eat off a red plate at school. Fascinated by street lights on the walk home from school as there are two different types, wants to know why. Notices things most children don't, which is an amazing strength. School are helping him so much in terms of learning social rules etc but, without their understanding, it would be a lot harder for him!

Thanks @LottieBalloo again for your replies.
ASD symptoms has varying degrees I think.

I don't remember much what my son did and what he didn't do. After reading mumnets, got to know about pointing. My son started pointing after he was two.

How to count this? When he is watching rhymes, he would keep naming animals that come in rhymes. Like fish, lion, elephant etc. And he also turn to me and say like crying, fighting, swimming when he see on TV or outside. Is this counted as sharing interest?
I need to fill in a questionare for assessment purpose, so only asking
He never showed any toys or leaves or some interesting object to us till date.ladt week I brought home a laughing Buddha print out and told him this is laughing Buddha, he repeated it" laupi bapi". Before going to bed, he pointed and showed the laughing Buddha picture to my husband and elder son saying "laupi bapi" and repeatedit several times.
Like you said, my son is also repeating few words, and saying unclear phrases like four or five times at a time. Hope he will also start to speak soon. Can you tell me what you did to reduce the repetation of words and for clear speech. Thank you very much.

I am also trying to fill mchart and find out possibilty. Can anyone tell me what is considered asking for need? Does this mean asking for something that is not visible at that time in his sight?

When I give milk to elder son, he would also come and say "mik" and follow me to kitchen, can I take this as asking for need.
Or the case should be like asking "mik" even before looking at milkcup and wanting to drink milk.
When feels cold, he will say chill and ask for coat, water, snack and food he will ask on his own. What else to consider?

I let him crack on with his echololalia at home as it's his safe haven and verbal stimming is a thing! I learned a lot from flowing autistic adults on Twitter and the Facebook group nurturing neurodiversity, really helped me to see asc as a neurological difference, not only the negatives. Yes it is a scale, that's why its called spectrum, and the reports are hard to compile and read as they tend to focus on what your child cant do...I try to list all the positives too. E.g. DS finds concentrating on an activity someone else has set up hard but he pushes himself to do it anyway. This shows determination and grit. He always moans when move anything in the house but I see this as his incredible attention to detail. Your child is still the same person, diagnosis or not.