He I have 3 children one is DS aged 13 who has Severe ADHD I have a DD1 aged 10 with ASD and a DD2 aged 8 who is being investigated for epilepsy but is showing mood disturbances which maybe a part of epilepsy I’m told.
The problem I’ve been looking for support with is DS he was only recently diagnosed after a long time of Ed psych Cahms and other agencies but the past year his symptoms have worsened. Well in the morning before he takes his meds he is easily agitated and irritable and loses his temper easily. This morning DS took DD2 iPad to wind her up well DD2 hit him lightly not enough to hurt him I corrected DD2 and told her it was wrong to hit people even if they do something we don’t like and gave her time out but DS who had only just taken his meds lost his temper and started calling me names and swearing at me which I’m not going to lie was quite nasty.
Now I sent him to his room which he did and I told him to come down when he was feeling calmer. So after about a hour DS came downstairs and said sorry now his meds are working he’s been fine all day lovely pleasant and we have had no other troubles or arguments today.
Well I posted earlier on a bipolar support group and was told my son is a spoilt brat and that I need to hit him and loads of people started agreeing that I should hit him and when I said that I don’t feel violence towards a special needs or any child is acceptable and that he only loses his temper like that before his meds start working or under extreme circumstances I was told I was trotting out the old “mummy’s special boy hasn’t had his meds” and that I was using his illness to justify bad behavior and bad parenting.
But if it’s not his illness why is it that when he has taken his meds he doesn’t lose his temper easily or lash out unless under extreme circumstances.
I just hope I guess that I will actually get support here from mums who maybe understand how difficult it can be having DC with SN and how they can misbehave as a result of their illness and that’s why I have routines and things in place to cope with meltdowns like DD2 going in time out and DS having to go to his room until he calmed down just feel so alone I don’t have many friends over as worry I’ll get judged as we have a very difficult house hold I have bipolar 1 so it’s all about managing each person individual needs while making sure no ones needs are ignored. And that sometimes meltdowns happen doesn’t mean the child is spoilt my children have SN and they really are good caring loving children it’s just that each child has some extra care and understanding required, not assaulting a SN child plus how is that supposed to make him control his temper if I lose mine and strike him.
I deleted the thread as right now my foot is broken I have been walking on it 3 weeks as first doctor made a mistake have fracture clinic Monday to see what needs to be done. I’m trying to change preferred comprehensive schools for DD1 and DD2 because of how badly the school have left my DS down by refusing to acknowledge SN or allow him access to Ed psych and then when things eventually ended badly he got expelled in year 9 with his grades barely anything above what they were leaving primary school.
I’m trying hard to get DS in a new school as would prefer to avoid PRU for now. Sorry rambling but basically have too much going on right now to have people being negative and having a right go at me blaiming my parenting and calling my son entitled spoilt in need of a firm smack to his rear I couldn’t argue need my energy so just deleted the thread.
So here I am and really hoping I get support here as this the last time I’m going to try reaching out of the isolated world I live in for help and support so here I go I don’t mind suggestions or constructive criticism but please don’t tell me my DS is anything horrid or needs to be dealt with violently as that’s not a option just hoping there are people who understand where I’m coming from TIA a for taking time to read sorry if it’s confusing just trying to jog everything down.