Could my toddler have autism or adhd

[Laylalola112]

hi everyone since my little boy started crawling from 7 months onwards he started showing little signs that made me wonder whether he had some form of ADHD, or autism such as constantly shaking and twirling his hands, not responding to me saying certain things, he was never a good sleeper from day 1, he was constantly wingy and crying, never settled he had loads of different problems as a baby then once he started walking he started walking on tip toes now and then, constantly running back and forth non stop full of energy doesn't keep still for not even 10 minutes, he lines toys up and other things in the house. He's very obsessive and clingy with certain toys to the extend he has to take his bucket of animals everywhere with him to family members houses, out shopping, even to bed and if 1 is missing or 1 falls out he knows exactly what one it is and has a complete and utter meltdown. He has meltdowns and tantrums countless times a day. He's now almost 3 years old and he is good with his speech and has good eye contact but he doesn't play very well with kids his own age he's very strict with routine he doesn't behave very well Infront of adults and children he isn't familiar with he prefers to play on his own, he loves spinning around until he is very dizzy, he's very fussy with his food but from morning till night he doesn't shut off, he doesn't listen he has no fear he has no sense of danger what so ever he will just run out onto he road and not care what so ever when he does things thats naughty it's like he doesn't realise it's wrong until after he's done it he will apologise but then continue to do it thru out the day, he is pretty much out of control at the moment everyone I have spoken to and have asked their opinion they just say he's a typical boy maybe with a bit of ADHD but me and my mother strongly believe it's that and possibly autism. since he was born it has practically been nothing but stress, sleepless nights, I'm mentally drained from his behaviour if me or his dad tell him off he hits us, smacks us, pulls my hair he can be aggressive towards us which is amother major issue at the moment along with trashing the whole house we will then clean it all up for him to come along and trash it all again he doesn't play nice with his toys he uses them to thrash out on things. have spoken to a few adults with children who have been diagnosed with it and they all agree with the signs and symptoms just looking on advise on what to do to get help, and if your child has been diagnosed with either of these what was the early signs and symptoms. Thank you !! X

I definitely think thats enough to ask for further assessment.

Ask your gp or heath visitor for further referral

I am going to contact his health visiter to come out for a meeting so I can explain everything hopefully it wi get the ball rolling because I'm at the end of my teather now x

I agree definitely worth getting an assessment.

There is a good Facebook group with lots of other parents going through assessment called Nurturing Neurodiversity that you might like. Faye (who runs the page) also had a YouTube channel with the same name with some good videos.

Sounds like your son might also benefit from more research on his sensory needs: if you look up "Sensory Diet" you might get some ideas, or there is a channel called "Chirp" on YouTube which has some good content on sensory issues - see for example this one on sensory diets:

Or this list of a range of other videos on sensory topics. www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjG8IIMf5cY5Rakdt6u4Mmn9MlpdmrSXA

Tbh, with your list, id be preparing myself that he will very likely get a diagnosis as theyre all classic signs.
Have you looked into any support groups nearby. For me, getting a support network of people who "get it" was a real game changer.
There will be lots of strategies that will help you maybe make things a bit easier for you both x

I agree with everyone else, you have enough to warrant going to your GP with that information and asking for a referral for your son.

Don't be fobbed off, being the parent of a neurodiverse child means you need to be more persistent and have a thicker skin. Persevere, stick at it and don't take 'wait and see' for an answer.

This sensory booklet is a mine of information.
www.falkirk.gov.uk/services/social-care/disabilities/docs/young-people/Making%20Sense%20of%20Sensory%20Behaviour.pdf?

Yes 100% going to contact my health visiter when she's in Friday and take it from there and deffo gonna book a doctor's appointment as need to get the ball rolling as we're at the end of our tether atm. And no ive never really tried support groups as his behaviour has given me major anxiety now it's gotten to the point I don't like going out the house with him because I know there will be a massive meltdown and tantrum waiting to happen and it then takes us hours to calm him down

I don't like going out the house with him because I know there will be a massive meltdown and tantrum waiting to happen and it then takes us hours to calm him down

Aside from sensory overload, a lot of that could be transitions.

Imagine for a moment being him, doing something you're enjoying, oblivious to everything else apart from your own enjoyment. Then suddenly being uprooted from that and being made to do something else with no warning.
You'd feel disoriented and confused and shocked wouldn't you, then add to that you don't have the verbal skills to ask what's going on and you're so shocked you can't understand the explanation you're being given.
Now can you understand a little about how he sees the situation? Imagine not being able to interpret body language or tone of voice, not picking up on any of the hidden clues that are part of NT communication. Then add in some sensory stuff. Meltdowns are a sign that a child is overwhelmed by demands he hasn't a clue how to meet and things he doesn't know how to deal with.

Try very simple, very clear explanations about what changes are going to happen in a short timeframe, it's called Now, Next and Then instructions. You may have to start with now and next for a while until he responds to that, and introduce now next and then when he's able to take it on board.

Once you realise he can't help it, that something has caused him to be so overwhelmed he loses control of himself, you can start to look for the causes aka triggers and help him navigate past them.
It's not easy and you'll not always get it right, but there are loads of things you can do to help him and gradually, you will be able to go out to different places and do stuff, because you'll be helping him to deal with the triggers.

Definitely sounds like enough for an assessment. Be prepared to annoy your gp a few times before you get referred. I found my gp was incredibly dismissive. However once I got my dd referred the diagnosis of asc only took a year which I believe is quite fast. In defence of the gp though they only see 8 minutes of a very big picture so you really do have to tell them the worst of how things are for your lo.
Hope all goes well 💐