Neighbours and Sen children

[kaz86]

Hello,
I have 2 children with autism, adhd, and gdd (7 and 9) also a 4 year old who is going through assessment.
We have had a massive difficult time with our eldest who started a sen school September, we are actually having to move her to a different sen school due to it not being the write placement, the school are being amazing and supporting all in short we need a more therapeutic school, since she has started her anxiety and sensory issues have rocketed. Meaning lots of meltdowns at school and home. You can’t calm her you just wait for the storm to end.
We also have a 4 year old who sadly has become quite challenging and now under a paed (up till 2 she was looking nt however there are signs she maybe on the spectrum too). 😢.
Anyway our neighbours have no children, we have lived next door for 4 years now.
Anyway my kids are in bed at 7.30 (they are quite). We are up at 6-6.30 every morning esp as both the older 2 get transport so we have to get up and ready early.
Next door and now banging on the walls when they have a meltdown. My youngest was kicking her feet on the floor as didn’t want to go to a hospital apt yesterday (10am in the morning). Man next door starts thumping the walls!!!
We don’t have loud music and we are not noisy at night.
We had similar a couple of months back where they came around in the end. They had no idea they had asd and just thought they were very naughty children. We said sorry have them a box of chocolates and a letter explaining their behaviours and why etc and got our eldest to write a sorry card as it was after her meltdown which was that day over a hour long throwing things etc. 🙄.
I’m just really fed up. The kids think their is a monster living in the wall now too!

I think you have done your best to explain and they are obviously acting like knobs. In some ways I think that the more apologetic you are the more people think it is OK to be unpleasant sometimes! In your shoes, I would perhaps have one more go at explaining that the children will sometimes be noisy due to their disabilities but that you always do your best to limit noise whenever possible. If they continue to be unpleasant, ignore. I remember this well as we had complaints about our ds who was similarly very challenging.

Thank you. Totally . When we apologised the first time I added that they played their music till late and we never complained. Funnily since then they have stopped playing music. Which I never said they had too however we should give and take being neighbours and attached.
I was annoyed when he thumped back in the day. The worse thing was it’s because my youngest didn’t want to go to her hospital apt!!! Keep telling my autistic children to use their words yet this grown arse man can’t and thumps on the wall. Ironic really!
Luckily we have had no meltdowns since so all have been quite however I really don’t like him now 😤. Hoping it was just a bad day on his part. :/