Diagnosing my child..piss take!

[Babydazie]

My daughter was born at 28 weeks and has microcephely lung disease heart disease and a development age of a 3-4 year old and speak language problems and is suspected to have ADHD and slight autism.
Since she was born she's had paediatitions and specialists,
She has a EHCP and a 1 to 1 at school.
Since she was 3 her behaviour has been scary and very dangerous!
I have asked for a diagnosiss since she was 3 years old and all the paediatitions and doctors I have asked have all said it that is was because she was born early and she will catch up.
Every year her behaviour and attitude has become worse!
We moved house in 2018 and straight away my neighbours where saying she's a horrid child and she's ferrel!
She I again went to a new doctor to ask for some help or support and again I got told its becuase she was born early!
When she started school here the senco lady raised some concerns about my child and said that she isn't right! But I told her I've asked for help for a diagnosis but no one wants to help me. A year later the senco lady at the school said she will refer my daughter for ADHD. But last month her referral was declined! But that is not being disputed.
Me and my 9 month old haven't been very well so we've slept down stairs so little one doesn't wake everyone up when she crys, at 4am yesterday morning my 6 year old snuck down stairs not realising I was awake she lent over baby's cot and laughed and said I'm going to kill you and put a blanket on your face..! As I said earlier in the post her behaviour is getting out of hand. She hits if she doesn't get her own way. She will put on a babies nappy and poo in it and then wipe it all over her bedroom walls. She is an attention seeker and is obsessed with men! She will drink any kind of liquid and will drink until she is sick! She will not share. If we buy her any toys she will not like it and will take her brothers toys off them and break them for no reason.
I am at the end of my tether now! I'm sick of being passed around and getting no help! She tells me she hates me and no one loves me.
punishment does not work at all and trust me I've tried everything! She has slapped at teacher at school. She bites children if they try to be nice to her by giving her a cuddle!
What can I do!
I could cry everyday over her.
I am sick of arguments over her... I can't take no more! Help me? Advice me?

Really sorry you are going through this. Is your daughter seeing a paediatric dr? If not I would ask for referral from GP. i would also be in contact with social services to ask for needs assessment,
In my experience they were reluctant to even assess for diagnosis when my son was under 7. Could you afford to go private? You could be on waiting lists a long time.
It is terrible how we are fobbed off and left to struggle.
Perhaps some charities in your area could provide help?

Sorry just reread can see you’ve been given the run around by the doctors.
I think going to a private psychologist might be your best bet.

Thank you @PerpetualCircle I've lot count on how many paediatitions she has. But at her last paediatitions appointment the lady told me that the school can keep referring her and when asking the school they said that'll doctors and doctors say paediatitions! I will look into the private sector but it's being able to afford it as they do tend to rip people off. What I'm scared of the most is that social services will come and take her away because she's getting worse even though I'm asking and pleading for help.
Last year I did ask social services for some advice and I just got told to go and see a gp and their words were we can't actually intervene or help as we only deal with child abuse! I will have to try and get an appointment with the senco lady from school but she only works on a Friday! It's such a pain in the ass. X

Ah yes we had school /NHS ping pong for a few years. It seems our public services are more bothered about protecting their budgets.
Your child has a ECHP that is a legal document and has a social care element. I would contact SOS!SEN about your legal right for a social services care assessment. This is not usually the same team that handles child protection issues, they are supposed to actually help you.
If you do go private research carefully, many private psychologists do NHS referral work too, I would tend to chose one of those.
Your need Some one help fight your corner, it’s a bloody disgrace that agencies let families down so badly, when your going through so much already.