Worried,stessed, struggling...think my 2 year old DD has autism

[celtics34]

Hello fellow mums...
Needing some advice, reassurance? My daughter who’s only just turned 2 I believe is autistic, however dads very much in denial and just believes she’s “slow” .
From a young age she has been late hitting milestones, when most walked at 16 months my Dd had just learnt to crawl, we are under physio as she still isn’t walking at age of 2.

No more than 10 words, stims (hand flaps and kicks legs) when excited/sensory overload? Doesn’t like to be hugged/touched unless she comes up and asks for a hug, gets very frustrated/screams from any transition, Will not self soothe for naps, cries and wakes at least once in the night, and has multiple tantrums during the day, doesn’t ever acknowledge her baby sister. After all thats said and done she is a very social little girl who makes eye contact, responds to her name, sings,claps & plays & sometimes dances, recently made a little friend at nursery & is a great Eater, health visitor has given us a 24month check to complete and has said she can refer us to the right people if she feels she needs to be assessed which without a doubt I know she will.
I’ve read up on global development delay/sensory processing disorders & I guess I’m just a desperate mum who wants to know what’s going on with my daughter so I can Maybe be taught how to support her better because right now I feel like I’m failing.
Sorry for the rant... X

Hello, I wouldn’t stress about it too much but def get onto your local Speech and Language therapy department and see whether you can refer her yourself or whether you need your GP to do it. You’ve described her skills really clearly and just continue to encourage her eye contact, label items and describe what you are doing as that will help to develop her vocabulary when she does try to put words together. As for your husband, he needs to recognise it for himself at this stage. Concentrate on getting her to see the speech therapists for now. Hope this all made sense!

health visitor has given us a 24month check to complete

Look online for the MCHAT-R and see if that's it or similar.
do the test online and see how she scores, it will give you some indication, but is NOT a diagnostic, nothing is, all tests need professionals' observations over a period of time, so don't expect a definitive yes or no from anyone in the early stages. Maybe, wait and see is a much more likely answer you'll receive.

Read up on the differences between tantrums and meltdowns, that will help you describe them to HV and others if need be.

If she is autistic, she's autistic and will be autistic for life whether she has a diagnosis or not. Autism presents differently in girls, sometimes it's more difficult to identify in girls as the tests are all oriented towards the male presentation.

She is and will be the same lovely little girl you know and love

Just quick but you might like to look up the Nurturing Neurodiversity Facebook group and YouTube channel- there are a lot of parents awaiting diagnosis there and it's a good place to ask questions and share experiences (including of partners who don't see it).

In terms of speech, the Chirp Speech Therapy YouTube channel is useful (also on meeting sensory needs, social/emotional, etc.)

The Open University also has a free online course about autism which may be a good place to start (or maybe to introduce your husband to the idea - most people have a very wrong idea about what autism is).
www.open.edu/openlearn/science-maths-technology/understanding-autism/content-section-overview?active-tab=description-tab

As BlankTimes said, don't despair - she is still your lovely girl just as you know her, nothing changes if she gets a diagnosis except you get more knowledge to educate yourself and others around her to support her in more appropriate ways that will work better for her if she does turn out to be autistic. It will take time to learn but you have time - you just have to start somewhere and put one foot in front of the other!