Aspergers and 1- 1 time, does it work for you? and your child?

[mrspitt]

My ds (almost6), has had adhd ruled out, which i didn't think he had but do think he has mild aspergers. Social situations are a major problem! Anything from going to the shop to birthday parties to playing, if he can, with other kids results in inappropriate behaviour from him.

My mum is great, has been reading up etc and has been doing her best to take him when she can ( she works full time, quite stressful job0. In all our eyes, he is fantastic when 1-1 with an adult but most other situations its almost as if he cannot control himself. ( He also hs little impulses which i can see him trying to control but it usually gets the better of him). There are O.C.D tendencies, i think and he makes noises occasionally, which did stop but he has had a new noise for the past few days!

I have 3 1/2 year old and 1 1/2 year old and feel they need "normal time" with me when i'm not on edge and constantly monitoring him!

Really, what i'm asking is...... if 1-1 time is good for an aspergers child, i know its great for all of us, but does this ease the situation or escalate it? IYKWIM? I think he does need to realise that the world is a big place and he is not the only one in it, BUT... at the same time if this helps atm will i be making my job harder in the future?
I have no strategies left for his behaviour! And no diagnosis either!

I don't know whether to , or cry!
As i said to dh, he is very healthy and ery bright!!!!!!!!!! But he cause us soooo many issues!
Sorry i am talking, rambing, prob not even said what i really want but help me if you can and if you think i am way off line , let me know too!

Hi, your ds sounds just like mine. He's 9 and AS (not YET diagnosed). In a 1-1 adult situation he's great, bright, articulate, helpful and talk and talks and talks!! Any other social situation, especially involving other children (and especially especially involving DS2 and DD) hes an absolute nightmare. School has been a big problem for him, resulting in several exclusions anf the threat of a permanent last year. He now just does mornings with a 1-1 adult which is working out well for him. We're waiting on the statement and a diagnoses from CAMHS (fingers crossed).

He's obsessive, he has sensory problem (clothes noises etc), he's a loner, he has no social skills and little empathy, he's aggressive, rude, very difficult to control....... I could go on all night - but like you say he's healthy and very bright.

He thrives on his 1-1 time which we get in the evenings (she says sat on the computer). He only sleeps for a few hours so goes to bed at the same time as me when the little ones have been up for hours. I've noticed when we are away from home and he doesn't get this 1-1 we get far more meltdowns and his behaviour is much much worse. Unfortunately the other two don't get any time without him around which is a shame.

Im sorry if I've not been much help. Has anyone outside the school been involved with your DS? Are you seeking a diagnosis/statement etc?

Hi Sarah573
Sorry for delay sometimes i post and then its days before i get back again!

After a few years of not really knowing what to do with him or where to go, i eventually went to my HV ( who is really good ) and she said about new adhd pathway, would i like to be referred and see if they can help? Of course i jumped at chance!

He started school last year and i've had quite a few meetings with them etc about the way ds is! It's nothing new, nursery commented and so did playgroup before that! He has had speech therapy or 2 years now they are very happy with his progress.
Currently , the situation is initial meeting with paed for Adhd said , she doesn't think its that but would send him for griffiths scale tests.Still waiting for appointment.

It's funny cos ds is rubbish at bedtime/nightitme and always has been, won't be on his own, dreams/sleepwalks or is just up for whatever reason.

I'm in Scotland so not sure if you get a statement here.We very rarely stray far from home cos dealing with him then is just too much! We were on holiday for a week recently and he would just go AWOL, no worries or fears for him cos HE KNEW WHERE HE WAS!!!

I've just rambled again but trying to make sense of it would take me forever, same as you , i think!
And the noises are still happening!!!

I am new to Mumsnet as a member. I have been reading it lots but only just joined so I can have a voice! I don't understand the terminology - before I launch into my situation, what exactly do:
DS
DH
DX etc
mean?
Once this is clarified, I will write more!
Thanks in advance

Hi and welcome!!

DS - dear son - used to describe son
DH - same re: husband
DX - diagnosis