should I have another baby??

[Nat1H]

Have always wanted 3 children. After DS2 was born, I came out of hospital saying NEVER AGAIN and meaning it!! That was before we even found out he had CP!! To be honest, I have had such nightmare births with my 2 sons, I don't really think I should risk any more. With DS1 I had pre-eclampsia and he was born 8 weeks early ( I wouldn't mind, but I only went to look around the ward and ended up having an emergency section 3 days later!!). Then DS2 had NO fluid left at 33 wks and was delivered (by section) at 35 wks. I had such a nightmare time in hospital, it put me off completely. Now DS1 is 7 and DS2 is 4 and I am getting really broody. Don't know if I could cope with another nightmare though, especially as DS2 has CP caused by it. Would be on pins the whole time. What have other people done? Have you thought F* it, and carried on, or have you just been thankful for the children you already have?
Would appreciate any advice.

We have 3 children. Our first ds has CP and was an emergency section. Don't know if the birth was the cause of the damage and probably never will. It didn't put me off though having 2 more who are both fine. My pregnancies were not as dramatic as yours but I think I would take the F*it approach if it were me. I should have a word with your doc though, he might be able to put things in perspective for you so you can weigh up the likelyhood of things going pear-shaped again. On the other hand he will just probably say every pregnancy is different. One thing I was aware of though was how progressively hard I found being pregnant was with each child.

Good luck with what you decide.

Thanks for the advice. I found my second pregnancy much harder than the first, and had high blood pressure all the way through (I am sure this was stress!!) Don't know if I could cope with another pregnancy. Especially if the child had something wrong with it - I could never forgive myself. Can't get rid of this broody feeling though - I don't feel 'complete' somehow! Does this sound stupid? Maybe I'll just adopt!!

I must say after ds1 was born I just wanted another son, then after dd was born was absolutely delighted and shocked that we had made a girl, I still wanted another son, and when ds2 was born I absolutely and utterly did not want any more and still don't. Is it a daughter you want or just one more?

I think it sounds like you have kind of decided not to have anymore.

I was broody after ds2, but because the severity of ds1's condition (severely autistic) was finally becoming obvious decided we couldn't risk it. Then I got pregnant with ds3 accidentally and so the decision was made for us. He's 2 now and absolutely fine. DH did have the snip afterwards because we really couldn't a)cope with 4 b) have another 18 months/2 years of watching waiting etc. But I am pleased we've had him- and I think in the long run it's better for ds2 and ds3 to have each other - so they can both look out for ds1. I lost all brooodiness after ds3 as well- so think I have reached my limit!

Hi Nat, if you really want to go for it then do it. I know theres a worry for it to happen again but thats the chance anyone who has a baby has to take. Ive 2 kids with sn and before i ever had kids, i never thought of sn i never thought it would happen to me. I think after you have a child with sn you always worry about getting pregnant again. No one knows what the future holds so if you really want to do it, then go for it.

I was terribly broody after my daughter was born (my second child), but my dh didn't want any more (he already has another daughter, my stepdaughter) and I was getting on a bit (41 when dd was born). Also my ds (five) has Aspergers & DCD/dyspraxia, and as my father had Aspergers (undiagnosed but obvious if you met him!) and my brother has ADHD, I just felt it was too much of a risk. Ds is wonderful and lovely, but I felt if I had another boy he would very likely be on the spectrum. So now I'm 44 and feel as if the decision is made for me. I do still feel as if I would have liked more children though! I suspect I always will a bit. I quite liked being pregnant (no sickness!) even though I had severe placenta praevia with ds. I do try to be grateful for all the children - and I am! - but I suspect there will always be a tiny sense of regret for my invisible third child

Hi Nat1H, I wanted two girls, and got them. After DD2 was born I thought thank f I never have to go through that again. Then we found out about her CP. I feel like I've let her down by letting this happen to my beautiful baby girl, and am desperate for any baby ASAP.

Think it will be good for her to be sandwiched between two (hopefully) NT siblings who can look out for her. Plus it would be nice for DD1 to have an NT sibling as well as a SN sister. Am in negotiations with DH!

Suspect I'm not being entirely rational, but I say go for it. The pregnancy will be awfully stressful for you, though. My second pregnancy was much tougher than my first, so a third must take it toll on you as well. But I don't think you ever regret having kids, although you might regret not.