The way she speaks to us is disgusting

[Blossom4538]

Did age 9 (high functioning autism) is just awful to us. It seems to be demand and transition related perhaps (poss pda traits) and if she can’t get her own way.

We have:-
Shut up
Shut your f*ing face
Idiot
Fing idiot
I hate you
I wish you were dead
Shut up you idiot
Shut your cakehole
F
S**t
Shut it

Anyone else experienced this?

She can be so lovely, but her tone changes to that of boys I’ve heard at school. It’s been going on for a long time now and nothing we do helps. It’s really upsetting.

This sounds like my daughter she also has asd.
She is also demand avoidant and struggles with transitions and has massive sensory issues that cause her great distress.

I find it very difficult but try my best to ignore it as if I try to correct her it just makes it worse so I just walk away. I do try to talk to her when she is calm and happy but this doesn't really help.

I just console myself with the fact that she doesn't mean it and really can't help it. As time has gone on I am more able to detach from the way she speaks to me and see it as a sign she is distressed and needs me to be calm( not always easy) and patient.
I suppose the trick is not to take it personally, not easy I know.

Where is she even hearing these words?

probably from one of my autistic children...

if she starts to use fucking bitch, we will know for sure.

she feels strongly, she puts those feelings into the strongest words possible. On the bright side she is not knocking hells bells out of you.

It will improve, she will eventually have more self control than rage, though meltdowns will still occur.

lol!!!! Guilty as well with my potty mouth. My son called our dog a bitch when she took his snack..but I guess thankfully technically she IS a bitch Hahahaha

It’ll pass like anything else! Try to remember she probably doesn’t mean it! My husband use to have a royal anger problem and would lash out to say mean things that he didn’t mean. Anger management therapy really helped! He now can recognize and walk away before the mean words come out.
His parents dealt with what you are dealing with when he was her age! (He’s HFA not sure if I mentioned, it’s been a long ass week) And I can tell ya he’s the best son (and hubby/father) ever and always calls mum and dad at least once a week for a check in.
Those teenage years were a doozy though. You might need some wine 😂

some of it he has got from somewhere else. bitch is not one of my words of choice.

Children age 9-10 even those with asd are not kept in a bubble away from the outside world and will hear word and phrases not necessarily used at home
I agree these words are used when dd is feeling particularly upset or on the verge of a meltdown and she will use the worst words she can think of to try and verbalise her emotions
She does not use them in everyday conversation

Thank you, it helps to hear other experiences.

I explained it’s making me sad and the following day, she tried so hard bless her. Lasted one day though!