Struggling with behaviour

[Mum1405]

My 3 year old has recently been diagnosed with asd. His behaviour is very challenging and I'm struggling to cope with it. He hits and throws alot which is also having an impact on his sibling. He trys to climb out of his car seat and this week on school run he refuses to walk or be carried making it very difficult. When I pick him up as need to get to school he screams and shouts causing everyone to stare at us. Will things ever get easier?

That sounds really difficult. Is he verbal or using PECS or makaton or anything?

Most likely things will improve over time but unfortunately there are no easy fixes. A lack of communication can be a major factor as can sensory issues and just general maturity.

Have you been offered a place on an EarlyBird course or your LA’s equivalent?

Presumably he refuses a buggy on the school run too?

Reading some books on sensory processing issues may be useful. Understanding your child’s sensory signals and The out of sync child are good starters.

If he is not yet verbal or has some speech delay the Hanen More than words book is good.

General good books are How to raise a happy autistic child and Uniquely human.

YouTube is a great resource. Nurturing Neurodiversity and Vincentville both have boys around your ds’ age. Chirp and Walkie Talkie speech therapy are both US SALTs and have a good back catalogue of informative videos.

Do apply for DLA if you haven’t already. The Cerebra guide to completing the form will help.

Be kind to yourself and try to get some time to recharge as it will help you cope with the tricky times

Thank you so much for your advice openupmyeagereyes will definitely have a look at some of the books you have recommend. He is verbal although we dont always understand what's he is saying. We also use pec cards for now and next and phycologist has suggested that we start using them to show emotions as he has no understanding when he hurts someone. We had taf meeting this week and early bird course was discussed so just waiting to find out when that's on. Worried if it's a day I work wont be able to go but we will see. I've also got a one off sensory workshop next week and a one off behaviour workshop next month. We have applied for Dla but still waiting to see if we will get it. His grandparents look after him when I'm at work and they are struggling now - worried it will get to the point they can no longer look after him and I wont be able to put him in childcare so would need to quit work. At the moment going to work is the only thing keeping me going.

It’s really worth booking time off or asking for leave for the Earlybird course if you can. You will find the course useful but you will also meet other parents facing similar challenges and that’s so helpful. Hopefully you will find both workshops coming up helpful.

Is he at nursery yet? You could investigate a specialist nursery provision if there is one nearby. Alternatively a regular nursery can apply for funding (SENIF) which will allow them to pay for 1:1 support for him if you don’t have that already.

With emotions, try naming emotions as he is feeling them as this will help him to understand them better. Start with the easier ones like happy, sad, scared etc. So, ds you’re so happy that... ds you are sad because... that sort of thing.

Of course, anxiety is a big factor in challenging behaviour too so any steps you can take to reduce this may help. Routine, visual timetable, now and next etc.

Thank you. Yes he is currently at pre school and they have got senif funding for him which they using for 1:1. They are getting the application ready to apply for ehcp ready for when he starts school in September.

That’s great. If you are thinking mainstream then also consider if you want to defer him for a year. To do this you need to make an application to the LA.

It sounds like everything is falling into place for you so that’s certainly less for you to worry about.

Yes it is I guess just his behaviour is so challenging and today at pre school on 3 occasions another child got hurt where he had thrown a toy.

it’s really hard OP. The nursery should be managing this. His 1:1 should be keeping a close eye on him, looking out for situations where this behaviour might occur and using blocking techniques to prevent it. Using ABC logs to work out triggers etc.

Did they discuss this behaviour at the TAF in relation to any plan-do-review cycles and what action they are taking to prevent it?

Rest assured that it will not be the case that all the other children are well behaved all the time and he is not. Even some NT children, boys anyway in my experience, exhibit snatching and a bit of hitting and pushing beyond nursery years.

We did discuss his behaviour and they said he does throw there and they make him pick it up. They did not mention that he had ever hurt any of the others before. Thank you openupmyeagereyes for taking the time to reply