Parents of autistic kids in Mainstream school; Plz share your experience :)

[Soumia]

Dear mums

I have 2 autistic kids (high functioning) aged 5 (a girl) and 4 (a boy...but is still.non.verbal) and are very clever and capable and quite sociable, especially my daughter.

They were diagnosed just last year after 3 years of battle and struggle.

I am the process of EHCP/appeal against LA decision for my son for a special school...etc...because I strongly believe that my autistic son will.not cope in a special.school.

He has been.solely homeschooled since a year and is doing really well and learned a lot from.ABA intervention as well as the mainstream environment we have at home....with his two younger brothers aged 3 and 2.

My eldest daughter is in.mainstream.school since last year and is now verbal and doing well.

However, the main pyoblem is my kids are quite too young and autism is so unpredictable especially in young children...
So we can never know if my ultimate objective to.integrate them.into.mainstream society will be really easy and the right decision or not !!

Or am I just trying to dig a squre peg in a rounded hole?
My daughter's school.teacher said to me that she ruibed her sons life because she put him in nainstream while he failed all his years/exams and she should have really put him.in a special school.
She said that my.daughter might end up.sent to special.school.agter year 2 when all her class sit the exams . And it is common.for many.pupils to go from.naindtream to special.schools as the gap between them and their peers will be blunt in later years!!

I know each child is different and autism.is a spectrum.and us unpredictable anyhow.
But my pediatrician.advised.me tgat better to give my.kids a chance to reach their full.potential.in.maintream setting better than being surrounded by other special needd kids who also have different complexity of interaction and understanding.

I personally agree with her and I based all my focus on.that.

I left my career and lots of money, ...my priority and my.investment is in my.k7ds happiness and success to just to save the future of my autistic kids while they are still.growing...

Please share your experience how was the mainstream helpful.or detrimental to your kids.

Thanks

We are much further in our journey than you (ds's are sixteen). I think we have learnt it is not so much about the type "special" or "mainstream" but more about the fit of any specific school for the child in question.

Mine who are less autistic than yours seem to be (issues did not raise themselves till year 4) started off in mainstream but lost the ability to cope in juniors and then transferred to independent special schools.

Issues in mainstream were sensory issues of noise, touch etc, inexperienced staff who simply did not have the knowledge of ASC to deal with them (tended to take a reactive rather than a proactive approach which was extremely demanding of staff resources and really struggled, as we did in fairness, to understand that a very bright child could have massive issues in being able to communicate), lack of suitable spaces in the school where the ds's could retreat to if they were struggling; insufficient staff resources to provide direct teaching of social skills. BUT not all mainstream schools are the same and some do provide a calmer environment and have staff more experienced in ASC and some kids with an ASC do do well in mainstream.

Special schools on the other hand can have problems themselves including often not teaching at a high enough academic level (we had to look very hard to find ones that would do this but did manage for ds1), clashes with the other pupils due to conflicting needs that can cause lots of anxiety (was a problem for both of mine), sometimes an inflexibility of approach (ds2's school), not always the level of experience in staff you might expect (both of the schools my ds's went to had lots of staff from mainstream backgrounds); high staff turnover (ds1's school). This list sounds a bit negative but special school worked out well for ds1 who is now back in a mainstream environment for sixth form and doing well. Where special school scored highly for ds1 was the direct teaching of social skills throughout the school day, small classes so that staff really got to understand him and his atypical means of communication, sessions to help him manage his anxiety and ironically inclusion. He might have been in a special school but he was seldom withdrawn from lessons and they took pupils on frequent visits outside of school including residentials and even abroad. In mainstream they ended up banned from all school trips even a short walk into a local park (the last one I still remain bitter and twisted about)

The key I think for either school type is "flexibility" and "attitude" something you should be able to pick up on if you visit the schools available close to you.

thats what we found where we are for ds. hes a bright 12 yr old. here its a choice of struggle at mainstream or special schools that wont be anywhere good enough for him academically (dont really do gcses type). so we found with ds a square peg in a round hole.

he is now online schooled at home, self funded. academically what he needs and without the issues of mainstream (sensory overload etc).

Thanks for ur message and sharing your experience...

I didnt quite understand...do you mean the struggle would be worse in a mainstream school?

Could you plz elaborate more on your experience with mainstream ...other than srnsory load...ehag other factora should I take into.consideration...

Thanks

Up

DD (14) managed ok in mainstream primary but struggled in mainstream secondary. Depending on your children’s needs, you could see how it goes in primary and then switch later on if they struggle. However, mainstream secondaries are huge, noisy places full of sensory overload and that’s a problem for a lot of ASD kids. Beyond this, mainstream is chosen to improve inclusion and social skills, but you have to make sure the school has processes to include ASD kids in social school life otherwise the whole exercise is pointless and distressing for the kids. DD doesn’t integrate or understand her mainstream classmates at all and is regularly bullied and exploited for her pocket money and/or lunch because she doesn’t understand what’s happening.