Worst weekend, something needs to change

[Blossom4538]

We can’t make our DD (ASD) happy at all and we have had an awful weekend. So aggressive, nasty to us with awful words. We can’t go on like this.

Hard time at school but now settling into smaller groups - she is 9’years old.

Would a reduction in hours help? By the weekend she is drained and we have problems.

My OH would like to withdraw her from school.

I can’t go in like this anymore. I totally understand and appreciate her struggles, of course, but it is getting worse and the family are miserable.

I can’t make her happy, she is very nasty to me 70% of the time and relationships are even going downhill with other family members now. She seems quite hateful and hates her life/wants to die.

I can’t do this anymore

Really sorry to hear this.

What happens at tbe weekend?

You are very probably right that school is exhausting. Do you have any feedback from school? Can they last you know how the week was and you try to see what might be upsetting her?

How was she over the summer holiday?

And was that any different from the weekends?

Do you have a decent camhs service? My old (good) area had a phone line for advice.

Can you speak to the NAS to see if there is any support local to you.
I did a course with them when my DS got his DX aged 5, it was so helpful for me and gave me lots of help with my parenting skills/style, I changed a lot of things and gradually it contributed to much better behaviour and less aggression.
I also got lots of help at school and from CAMHS, but I realise it’s hard to get help from these services.
It sounds like you are having a very hard time and really need some support. If you take her out of school all of the responsibility will be on you, it may it even more pressure on you which could be very hard.

Thank you so much.

We are lucky and have had various courses and support from CAMHS and have strategies to help and are aware of her triggers. She is very emotional at the minute and developing fast (was assessed for early puberty) - I wonder if hormones are playing a part?

Since starting working in small nurture Sen group at school, she would like full on play and attention all the time from us, which just isn’t always possible. She’s up and down, has recently started saying she loves me (which she found hard previously- expressing emotions) - to saying she wants me to die.

I think she is becoming more aware of her differences - more self aware.

She was very anxious this morning prior to school and I know why, terrible sensory issues alongside it. School are aware.
She has a lot of support in place at school and they are very flexible around her.

I think she gets bored easily at weekends, but is also exhausted and will not wear normal clothes to go out. Wants to stay in pjs or underwear.