I've got a kid in Y6 with a EHCP for autism. The council agreed that the key thing for him will be the ethos of a secondary and him feeling happy, so currently while he has one (so we can practically pick a school), it's got no funding attached (but I'm told we have much more chance of getting funding this year - 'to ensure a successful transition to secondary' is the key phrase, confirmed by a couple Sencos). Fight to get one if at all possible!
I went round a couple schools last year and met the Sencos (who both seemed pretty good), and now have taken ds round 4 schools. He really liked two of them and hated the other two, and I pretty much agreed with his assessment - the two promising schools, I'd unleash him into a classroom on the open evening and he'd get engaged with stuff, teachers would chat to him, and not be unnerved by his obvious quirkiness.
One of the other schools, hardly any teachers even bothered talking to him, a couple visibly tutted, and most of the teachers ignored me too. The other is new and not full - I wondered if he might like it being more empty and spacious but he found it very uninspiring - having y10-13 role models and their work on the walls really caught his interest.
While ds was playing with the activities set up, I quizzed each teacher on 'what do you do with a kid who is highly motivated in some areas, has gaps in his knowledge, gets frustrated easily and is incredibly squeamish and anxious?' The two promising schools, teachers had answers about things they do with students already like letting them leave early from a class to avoid crowds, no detentions unless agreed with pastoral care, alternatives to dissection/cooking, setting for PE by 'both ability and motivation' and various activities, a kid allowed to go curl up on bean bags in the library when required, etc. A language teacher confirmed that if ds will refuse to learn language x but wants to learn language y, that would be sufficient reason to ensure that is met when the 'random' groups are allocated and I should write it into his EHCP.
The tutting school, I'd get 'ooh, well.... well, we have a very good inclusion team...', in that special 'caring' tone of voice.
I'm now coming up with a spreadsheet of features of the two promising schools and questions for the sencos/other staff. I'm wondering whether the deciding factor should be that one school is handy to pop in on on my way to/from worn?