Leaving Autistic Son for first time ever.

[AlphabetMummy]

Not sure where to put this, but hope this is okay.

My son is 5 in November, has ASD and Sensory Processing Disorder. He reacts loads better to me than DH (his father), and seeks out me in a meltdown situation etc.

We have 2 other younger children, and I have never had time away. At the very beginning of the year, me and my best friend saw that our favourite film was being performed live in London. As far as we are concerned this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. At the time, it seemed amazing! A night away to myself, for the first time in 6 years!!
I arranged for DHs best friend (the kids Godparent) to come and stay so the men could muck in together and it would be easier...

But.. what seemed like an amazing idea nearly a year ago, it seeming more and more like a bad idea. If it was suggested now, i wouldnt book the tickets. But we have amazing expensive seats and i dont know whether i am being unfair to think I deserve a night away, or unfair on my son to leave him for the night.

Anyone got any insight that can either make me feel more positive about going, or help make my mind up not to go? Whats for the best here.

Thank you

Go and do it!

When my dh first encourages me to leave ds and go and do something for myself, I found it really stressful. Ds would kick off and take ages to calm down.

Now I get one day each weekend to have to myself and it is bliss. It also refreshes me so that I can handle everything over the next week.

Something that helped our ds to accept I was going out was using visuals to explain I would be out of the house but then I would come home again. We also started with me doing shorter trips and built it up to longer ones. Also not faffing around when leaving ie. taking ages to get ready and coming in and out of the house because you've forgotten things.

You have to find a way to put trust in other people or you will burn yourself out.

I can totally understand how you are feeling. I always make excuses to not leave mine behind. Mind you we all need a break from time to time and everyone is in good hands. Go enjoy yourself

Hi OP, it’s completely normal to feel the way you do. I’m currently abroad visiting my family without DS(3) for the first time. I haven’t had much time away since DS’ birth. Not that I’m complaining- I just need a break! Like your DS he seeks me out when upset (or having a meltdown) and only wants to play with me (never his dad).

DS started nursery full time this August so I thought it’d be a good time to visit my mum and siblings. I excitedly booked my plane tickets but nearly backed out the day before. DH had to persuade me to go in the end.

I’ve been gone 3 days so far (will be gone for 7). DS was a little upset the first day but has now got settled in with DH. He’s even let DH cuddle him!

It wasn’t easy taking a step back but I think what’s helped is that DH is confident looking after DS. I wouldn’t have gone otherwise.

I think me being away has been beneficial for DS. He’s been able to have alone time with DH which (I hope) will strengthen their relationship.

Thank you!
Just told DH that i think it would be beneficial for me to go away for a whole week, and read him the posts.. the look on his face says not lol! But im a bit more positive about staying away the night now thank you :D xx

That's great. I hope you all have a great time. Enjoy

Enjoy the show!!
As pp said, you have to learn how to have time for yourself or you will burn out.