ds2 stood out like a sore thumb!

[mymatemax]

We got back a couple of days ago from our holiday & although we had a lovely time it really hit home how much ds2 is different from the other kids.
I hate feeling so negative because I am so proud of him but all the nudges & sideways glances from the other guests were just so in our face.
Its just the older he gets the more his behaviour & his disabilities stand out.
I just can't seem to shake this feeling of sadness & I feel bad for thinking of him in such a way.

Sorry, don't know your situation, but can empathise with the feeling of sadness seeing your child stand out from the others.

My DS doesn't have a dx yet, but is possibly AS/dyspraxic, and I work in the school he attends, so see him in the playground wandering alone flapping his hands while the other boys in his class play football etc, and it does upset me.

I'm sorry you are feeling down after your holiday. I think it is only natural to feel a bit sad when you are surrounded by other children of a similar age behaving differently, so don't feel bad. I bet your DS is gorgeous though!

Thaks he is gorgeous (of course i'm biased) he has mild CP, GDD, ocd & poss ASD.
He spent alot of time sniffing the tables & cleaning - he loves cleaning & didn't like the sticky tables in the bar.
He wasn't hurting or annoying anyone but for some reason I was very aware of lots of pointing & nudging from the other tables.
Also while the others were all playing together
outside the chalet he was talking to the tree.

TBH I think he had a good time & the entertainment people were great with him, I guess I'm just being a bit sensitive.

It must be hard for you watching your ds, Does he seem happy at school, is he aware?

Think holidays tend to have this effect!

I remember spending the day at a huge farm park/fair/play area etc and had a great day but was upset at the end of it.

We were the only ones with a SN buggy in the whole place

On holiday you tend to see many more other children were as day to day you maybe dont

Don't feel bad, we have all, on here, got upset because of the same thing

MMM, the other parents were probably commenting that they wished thier kids would do a bit of cleaning - that's what I'd be saying to my DH if I saw your DS wiping down a table. Also, lots of children wonder of by themselves from time to time and have imaginary conversations, so please don't think that your son's behaviour would seem terribly odd to other parents.
Of course it must be hard for you, but he sounds like he's happy?

I often feel like this. My DS2 has CP and has recently been given a wheelchair. I still hate going shopping (aout 13 weeks on)as people stare and I often hear comments such as 'ahh'and 'poor thing' as we walk past. This really gets me down whilst I am out and about and I find myself putting a brave face on all the time. When I get home though, I just have to look at my son and I soon realise that I know him, and understand what a delight he is to be with. These onlookers have no idea of his incredible personailty and sense of humour and they obviously just feel sorry for him. TBH if I didn't have a SN child, I would probably react in a similar way if I saw a 4 year old in a wheelchair.

Thanks all, its good to know you've all felt the same, iykwim.

The sn buggy is certainly a head turner & I suppose i'm not used to being somewhere surrounded by strangers, we live in a small coastal town, kids go to village school etc so everyone knows ds2.
I guess I was out of my comfort zone too!
Sweetdarling - I hadn't thought about it like that yes I suppose alot of parents would like a cleaning obsessed 4yr old, althought hey may of been offended by him sniffing them before he started the cleaning

Hi my kids behave differently to other kids too and it does get me down sometimes. but i love them and am lucky to have them so even though i get down i try and look at the positives.

ds is relatively mild it terms of any SN issues (poss dyspraxia) but he sticks out as not particulalry sociable, to the point of resistance, physically inept and often finds himself playing alone. He seems so used to his on company now or chooses to play with dd who is younger (and I worry about the impact it may have on her ). Holidays, rather like Sports days, are rare opportunites to see your children in their natural context so any differences become more marked

I think thats it, I don't think of ds in terms of his disabilities, but when you are put into a captive audience of strangers their reaction is a reminder.
The cleaning is very handy, he spent ages this morning cleaning my kitchen floor - he loves it & is very good.
On the down side he also spits an awful lot, maybe i should withdraw his cleaning privilidges (sp) until he stops spitting.
I bet super nanny hasn't got that one in her manual