Help for SN parent depression?

[specialneedsdepression]

Today broke me. I feel deflated, like things are hopeless and bleak for my child's future. I blame myself for my child's diagnosis. I keep analysing everything I could have done wrong in my life to cause this. I am the one who needs to stay strong otherwise the family will fall apart but tonight I just want to die.

Part of me knows I am being silly, but I also know that I am probably burnt out from worry and depressed. I need to see my GP, but are there any other services you would recommend I contact?

Thanks.

You most likely haven’t done anything to cause it. It’s not your fault - it’s just one of those things!

If you go to the GP, they will probably treat common or garden depression themselves. There is the Community Mental Health team, the secondary level for mental health problems - but it’s patchy and waiting lists there can be long. Can you possibly afford private counselling? It’s probably better and quicker, than what you would get on the NHS.

How old is DC? You could ask Children’s Services (Social Services) for an assessment of need for DC; and a carer’s assessment for you. It could be you are suffering carer burnout and more support or respite would give you some time to spend doing things you enjoy - best antidote to depression ime!

Children’s social services consists of child protection teams and children with disability teams. It’s the children with disability team, you need support from.

@MontStMichel thanks so much I will look into all of this.

My DC is 4 and a half x

I saw GP with a similar issue. GP recons I am not depressed but burned out and referred my to councelling. I work and either work or care (no time alone at home ever - haven't had that in more than 11 years, no longer wonder I am burned out). But I cannot afford time off work for councelling and the councelling service refused to see me if I bring DC along if I attend after work. So I cannot get help I need caused by caring for a disabled child because I care for a disabled child. So I got no help at all. My advice is not to bother the GP.

I agree I also feel burned out. I must admit I didn't find the GP particularly helpful. Also I am not sure counsellors fully understand - I don't think that unless someone cares for a disabled child that they fully understand. Instead I have tried to get as much support as I can for my son - in turn this helps me. However I am still exhausted.

Is there a charity associated with your child's condition? Often these have helplines (and sometimes meet ups) - talking with someone who knows about what you are going through can help. Maybe far more than the wrong counsellor. Also my GP area have telephone counselling now - which can be a lot more convenient.

But if you get to know more Mums with SN children, you will see that a lot have health/mental health problems, partly because you can get so worn out. Also do use DLA for respite if possible, and use any free time for your own well being.

Also do use DLA for respite if possible, and use any free time for your own well being.

I had this suggestion so often. I had to reduce my working hours/many mums gave up work all together. most families with a disabled child are hugely struggling financially and DLA is used to put food on the table. there is usually nothing left to fund respite.