Struggling to cope

[Alwaysgrey]

I have three dc (10,9 and 6) my younger two has asd, adhd, spd and youngest also has coeliac and severe expressive language disorder. I’m exhausted. I’m struggling to cope with my youngest as she has to be watched from the moment she wakes up. I feel burnt out and I don’t know what to do. She’s only just started sleeping through but everything thing is so much work including a simple ten minute trip to the shop. It’s like having to watch four hyperactive toddlers. I just don’t know where to turn. I haven’t admitted this to anyone but I hate how autism affects her. I hate how difficult it has made our lives. My middle dc struggles and has a lot of issues and my poor eldest gets a fraction of the attention she should as I’m so burnt out. How do I make a change? I don’t think my youngest will ever improve.

Oh jeez that sounds so tough. What support do you have? Grandparents? Partner?

I think you maybe right. Your dc are who they are. The thing that strikes me the most is that your post, like most of the mamas with sn, our life is chaotic and different but we need to look after ourselves. What sort of little things could you do for you?

I think most parents would struggle to juggle more than one kids needs so give yourself a break

HTH

@KissyThief I’m lucky I have my dh and in laws but they’re not very hands on. Especially MIL. It stresses me out as she’s very judgey.

I think the biggest thing I’m finding is I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m not even sure if I know how to enjoy anything I just feel so mentally burnt out. Like I’ve hit rock bottom. Locally I don’t really have any kids with Sen. Especially not like my youngest who is very very challenging. I feel achingly lonely and I just don’t know how to fix it. Thanks for your reply. It’s nice to have someone just reply.

OP do you claim DLA and get any allowance for respite at all? It certainly sounds like you need it.

Are all the children at school? Does the youngest go to a special school?

It sounds really tough

I’m not being funny but there’s not being hands on and surely but no man is an island surely if you explained that you need say an afternoon a week or even an hour to yourself would make the world of difference.

Could you show your dh this post and tell him your really struggling? Personally going round Tesco and going for a cheeky coffee and cake by myself sounds like bliss!