If your dd was diagnosed with ASD as a teenager, what was she like as a child?

[Elvander]

Dd is 4 and has always been quite challenging - she's very volatile (only at home) and clingy to me, and it's become more apparent in recent years that she struggles with interactions with her peers (prefers younger children or adults). She was assessed by an educational psychologist who agreed that she has social and emotional difficulties, which may be consistent with ASD (no cognitive issues). However, she also pointed out that most of us probably have some traits of ASD to a greater or lesser extent and she may not meet the threshold for a formal diagnosis.

We're thinking about pursuing a formal diagnosis anyway as I'm hoping that it might help us to understand why she behaves the way that she does and to help us to support her better. However, I'm having a bit of a wobble today and wondering if it's maybe just our (my...) parenting that is to blame after all, after a health visitor helpfully pointed out after a 5 minute visit - 1st time they had met dd - that she's clearly completely normal and is just a bit shy.

I've done a bit of reading and it seems that girls are often not diagnosed until their teenage years when their ability to mask their difficulties starts to unravel. If you have a dd who was diagnosed as an older child or teenager, can I ask what were they like as a young child? With hindsight, were there any indications that they weren't quite like their peers?

My DD was a nightmare. Stubborn as a mule and really struggled with transitions. She never slept, at most 4 hours a night. Was like a walking hurricane creating chaos in her wake. Threats and punishment had zero effect on her. Rewards and incentives had no effect either. It was a constant battle.

Stubborn as a mule describes dd perfectly... We've had huge issues with changing classes at nursery in the past - we've already discussed an extended transition into school next year and dd seems really excited about it, but I suspect that she's going to find it really tough at first. And yes to sleep issues as well - thankfully she sleeps for more than 4 hours a night, but sleep has been a nightmare since day 1 and none of the suggested techniques have worked. The only way we get any sleep is to let her come into our bed - not sure how we're ever going to break this habit!

Mine was v shy; only major flag was a small delay in speech development & inability to manage more than 1 friend at a time. In retrospect lots of little signs along the way (too many to list) and increasing difficulties w friendships as she got older. Really wish we had gotten an EHCP before GCSEs as easier to get before!