Having a really bad time:(

[blossomhill]

Have had 3 really bad days and need cheering up. I have posted it under special needs as it mainly concerns dd but there are other things that don't.

Anyway started off with a very stressful unannounced visit from a relative on Friday after I was really looking forward to spending some time with the kids. Trying to give dd (who has a speech and language disorder) lots of quality time as her behaviour has really deterioated since returning to school. All over the holidays she has been lovely, a pleasure to be around. Since going back to school it has been really bad. Her behaviour has even been aggressive towards me (something that she has never done before!) and to be honest is starting to wear me down so have been doing star charts and they seem to have helped a bit. Anyway after my guest arrived and stayed overnight, that in itself was very stressful but will not go into it as I haven't got enough time, it totally turned my weekend upside down. Hey, never mind, anyway then my washing machine packs up Saturday morning and I rang the engineer can't come out until NEXT monday??? I was furious, you should see how much washing I've got.
Today was the worst day so far. Took dd and ds to the dentist and they both need dental treatment, feel awful as I do brush there teeth everyday and they hardly ever eat junk. The dentist was explaining that the first teeth are very vunerable and some children more than others. I felt so upset and bad but know it's not my fault. Anyway had a major clear out yesterday and decided to take a trip to the dump so load the car up full. When I get there guess what it was closed. I couldn't believe it I was so upset and almost cried there and then. Had to do food shopping next so first went home and unloaded the junk from the car and went shopping feeling very stressed. Went to pick dd and ds (who are at separate schools) up from school. Dd's teacher said that dd was an angel this morning but was playing up big time in assembly, calling out and had to be taken out.Dd used to do this about a year ago but it stopped very quickly. Even the headmistress had a word with her. In the car on the way home dd was saying things like "why am I always naughty and why are the teachers angry with me? Somedays I have good days but today was a bad one! I then had a quick chat with the SALT who is a locum as the permanent one has left. Anyone they can't fill the position and have been using locums that are cost twice as much. Therefore you only get half the time of a full-time one! The SALT explained that dd was low priority and wouldn't be receiving any SALT this term as she has made so much prgress and they don't think she needs it??? WTF? I explained that although dd had made progress some of that was down to the SALT and that I felt dd still had significant language problems, hence the language unit placement. Yes dd has a good vocab and can communicate but try having a conversation with her? Apparently priority goes to children with stammers and sound difficulties. I am so fed up, what else can go wrong? Why is dd so unhappy and angry atm? I feel so bad as I have just said dd cannot have a 2 way conversation but I know somethings not right. I am also going to have to ring the NHS and complain about the SALT.
Why is everything so hard? Why can't things ever be easy and why is everything with dd like a rollercoaster?
Thanks if you have mangaged to get this far and listened to me ramble. I just needed to get things off my chest!
Also wanted to say please excuse my punctuation but I really haven't got the energy tonight!

don't ring- write to your MP's and councillors. it pisses me off as well (is the same here- speech sound problems get priority over a non-vebral child). They get priority as they are easy to fix far easier than a language disorder. Being high up a SALT priority list wouldn't necessarily help anyway when there is a SALT shortage. When DS1's SALT went on maternity leave in March he was placed at the very top of her priority list. In other words out of all the autistic children in mainstream schools in Plymouth he was the first to be seen when they found someone. He hasn't been seen by anyone in the NHS since March. Does your dd have a statment? Is her SALT in parts 2 and 3. Finally the LEA have paid for ds1's private SALT to go into school- they had to as he had SALT specified in the statement.

Have you seen the curriculum "teach me language". It might suit your dd well. It is too hard for ds1, but its something that you could do at home easily enough.

Teach Me Language

BH. Sorry you're having such a cr@ppy time. After this week you must be due for some good luck.

We've been lucky with SALT but I do hate the NHS attitude of picking and choosing which child would be the easiest to 'fix' rather than giving the help to the child who most needs it.

Having recently spent over a week with no washing machine, and no launderette nearby, I can definitely sympathise with the stress of having a broken machine. It's a nightmare!

Fingers crossed that your luck improves very soon.

I am going to start up a new business getting rid of other people's relatives for them I hope you're feeling better BH, a good old rant on MN often helps I find. Don't know what to say about the school/SLT situation. Any chance of getting a private SLT? I know you shouldn't have to but if it will really help DD then its worth it, mind you, you have to be careful to get a good one and not just another waste of time and money. Can you get to the launderette? I used to quite like it when we had washing machine probs, not that I stayed and did it myself, got a service wash, but it came back lovely.

Sign me up as your first Relative-Riddance customer, Davros.

Thanks jimjams. Yes dd does have a statement. I have looked through it and the only thing I can find in section 3 is the following;-

2 (i) A structured programme to develop receptive and expressive language skills, devised and monitored by a speech and language therapist;
(ii) Opportunities for individual and small group teaching to develop language skills in a safe and supportive environment which is delivered regularly to develop her listening and language skills.

Then part 6. Non-educational provision

Input by the speech and language therapy service as deemed appropriate.

I don't think I have a case do you?

I cannot believe that your ds hasn't seen anyone since March (from the NHS) Unfortunately there seems to be an extreme lack of SALT at the moment. Our unit has been advertising for a permanent position since feb!

Where can I find out more about "teach me language" please!

agree with davros again. I uhmmed and ahhed about SALT for ages- getting our private one is the best thing we ever did. We are lucky with her in that she is extremely good and was working in a school for autistic children that used a behavioural approach. I really think that having regular SALT has made a huge difference to ds1- for the first time since he was 15 months I can see some movement with language (receptive)- and he just would never have had enough input from NHS to make any difference.

Davros - ROFL about relative riddance!!!

Even dh said tonight he is scared about dd's future and that is a first for him. He is usually so optimistic usually and I am the pessimistic one. It's just so scary sometimes and overwhelming having a sn child and unless you have one you don't understand IYKWIM!

Thanks for that link jimjams that looks brilliant as it is the social side of language dd has diffculties with!

part 3 says "monitered by a SALT" if she isn't getting any SALT then how can it be monitered. Ours wasn't much tighter than that (no hours specified for example- mainly because we would have had to go to tribunal)- but we still managed to insit the LEA provide it.

Ours says in part 3 "daily SALT provided by a suitably trained TA under direction from a SALT. ..... The SALT will identify the immediate speech and language aims and in consultation with the class teacher....blah blah> The SALT will then prepare a programme which states the speech and language goals. Blah bah

Nothing very concrete in ours but it was enough for the provision of SALT by the LEA to become a legal requirement. IPSEA have the court cases on their webpage. If you contact me off list I can send you my correspondance I had with the LEA and MP about this.

OH BH sorry you are having a bad time of it lately. it does drag you down

I am so annoyed with these so called professionals. One Physio told my friend, who's daughter is severly physically and mentally disabled, that she wont be giving her physio as her daughter wont co-operate. I mean what ffs is that suppossed to mean

I would complain about the salt bh

So sorry to hear that things are getting you down, funny how it goes isn't it. Something bad happens & while you're on a low it seems that someone somewhere must think, aha,,,let's hit her while she's down. It all then seems to snowball doesn't it. I've had such a hectic couple of weeks, but after this weeks over, I can see some light at the end of the tunnel.
I know everyone's situation is different, but the SALT here was ridiculous! DD was seen once or twice at CDC, but then when she started SN nursery, they refused to see her, saying that SALT should be taken over there. At the nursery however, SALT only visits on a Tuesday, DD goes Mondays & Thurs!!! Managed to get a home visit in April, after turning up 45 mins late, practically ignored DD, asked a few questions, checked off her checksheets and basically said."Won't see me again, too many children to see, too large an area too cover, copy of program in post, bye" I was gobsmacked, you wold have thought that at least in that situation she would have done a thorough assessment of DD.
So now we have started paying privately.There is a fairly local group called "Symbol" who specialise in SALT for DS. We are trying to get a group together of kiddies in a similar age range to cut down on the individual costs. Could something like this work elsewhere.
I am not saying that it is right that we have to do this, but at the end of the day, for us, it seemed nothing else was on offer.
Hope things are on the up for you.

Jimjams thanks for the offer, I may take you up on it depending on the result I get on Thursday. I have spoken to the head of SALT about my concerns and she is now looking into it and getting back to me. I said to her how on earth can you prioritise 25 children with speech and language problems. They all have quite significant problems otherwise they wouldn't be there!!!!! The head of salt was saying shecouldn't believe how well dd was doing and I said how funny that before attending the unit she didn't have any SALT - no progress. Has a year of SALT and makes 18 months progress - funny that. I do not want the progress to stop. Sure we do things at home and they are constantly doing therapy at school (even though the child doesn't realise) but that's not good enough! I will fill you in on Thursday. Thank you for the offer it was really kind of you and I will definitely buy that book. The only thing is, god I am going to look stupid now the prices are in dollars. Do they just convert the money when you order? I haven't ever bought anything on the internet and it worries me a bit but that book is seriously what I am looking for.
Thanks for the sympathy Fio! I am feeling a lot better today, I mean things couldn't get much worse could they ?
Dingle how outrageous is that? Unfortunately it is also very common. There is a huge lack of SALT's at the moment. For example in our area there are 2000 children on the books and only 5 therapists! Not enough but then again I can't blame them as the salary is really bad I have been told. Dd's school has been advertising for a full-time SALT since February and not one person has applied.
Thanks everyone again for all of your lovely comments you really, really cheered me up

Well everyone has given you practical advice and support. No other practical comments to add but just want to add my sympathy and my support. You've had a shitty old week babe, but you know that it'll get better and we have to have the rough to appreciate the smooth don't we. Things with your dauughter will settle down and get better again and with the help and advice you received here hopefully that'll speed the good times up. Just keep smiling mate, you'll turn the corner again soon.

Thomcat - Thanks hun, you are such a sweetie!

Blossom Hill, to order off Amazon.com, just follow their instructions and pay by Visa. They will convert the money and send the book. Alternatively it is here on Amazon.co.uk which is the UK site so you get the price in £s and sometimes the book quicker depending where it's shipping from:
here .

I've never had problems with Amazon - they are a really good site for internet shopping.

I think I might get it for my ds2 also .

Thanks Saker. I have just ordered it as it looks brilliant, just what dd needs. I can't wait to receive it now!

BH I think the book can be bought in the UK, but not sure. However probably just as cheap (and faster) to buy form the States- it comes with a companion manual as well (much cheaper) which provides all the original worksheets as blank. HAndy if you do use it....

It was so weird though jimjams as I payed £32 for a new copy and there was a second hand copy for £65!
I am really excited though as dd's main area of concern is that she finds it really difficult to have/sustain a 2 way conversation. She tends to divert no matter how hard I try and keep her attention! I'll let you know what I think. Not sure if you have a copy?

I have a copy- bought it a bit too early- but am hoping to be able to use some of the simple drills in PECS soon. I think it'll be ideal for your dd. Very structured and step by step. The companion worksheets is well worth getting as well if you do think its useful (same authors). it's blanks of all the worksheets.

sorry I am talking double dutch now- really the book is for verbal children, but PECS can be used for some of the early drills and lesson plans- much better for a verbal child though which is why it was a bit early when I got it.