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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

I’d like to get off the motherhood train now please

7 replies

Shplot · 19/08/2019 11:27

I’m a single mum to my ds who is 9 with severe autism, pda, incontinent, allergies, the list goes on.
I posted recently but I’m having such a difficult morning with him. Trying to do school work where I basically tell him the answer and he still gives the wrong answer.
He’s been out of school a few years after being excluded and yes I’ve spoken to sendiass, ipsea and ring local authority every day but no mainstreams or special schools in two counties will take him so I’m being forced to home educate. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell the local authority that by law he needs an education, nobody cares. And yes he does have an ehcp.
He’s gone through 6 pull ups this morning, the pyjama pants are the only ones that fit and it’s costing me £5-£10 a day. NHS won’t give him nappies because they think it’s due to his autism and not a physical medical problem. I sit him on the loo where he says ‘it won’t come, can’t do it’ as soon as he’s off the loo he’s leaking poo. This has been going on for 5 years and I’ve tried everything.
I had a really awful, abusive childhood and all I ever wanted was for my son to have a good childhood but I feel like I’m the worst mother, I used to play lots, read lots, take him everywhere but the last few years I feel like I’ve lost the plot, my life revolves around cleaning his bum, ringing doctors and local authority who basically tell me to piss off and trying to keep on top of the house which he trashes.
It’s relentless. I have no family, no support, it’s just me and him and he’ll look back and remember angry, impatient mummy.
I’m on antidepressants and I need to go back to the doctors and ask for a higher dose because I can’t cope.
I know there’s no magic wand and I can see this will be my life until I die and I hate it so much right now. And I won’t look at respite or anything because ds can be very violent and I’d worry about what he could do. Nobody believes me until he hurts them. Was excluded at 5yo for stabbing his teacher and he has calmed down a lot since being home which is something I suppose.
I don’t even know why I’m posting, just to let it out here rather than at him I suppose. He’s playing in his room and I’m having a coffee downstairs, hoping the day gets better.

OP posts:
danni0509 · 08/10/2019 19:37

@Shplot I just stumbled across this.

Sorry no one replied when you posted it Thanks

How are things now?

Peckalina · 20/10/2019 21:06

Oh my goodness that sounds so hard
and I was just wondering if there were any support groups in your area? There must be somewhere that can help you even just a little? I am sure you have tried all the official avenues (which are worse than useless) but sometimes there are charity groups or church groups that will help. If you have access to the internet it might be worth a try and don't rule out respite - it sounds lime you both could do with it. xx

PerpetualCircle · 02/01/2020 21:04

Hope you’re bearing up, I found your post heart breaking. It is disgusting how you have been let down by the authorities. I would complain to your local MP.
Have you been in touch with Social S for them to conduct an assessment? I agree with previous poster about charities in your area too.

user1478640515 · 12/01/2020 00:17

Just read this. Just wanted to send you a massive hug.

Bence69 · 10/12/2020 05:21

Seeing you a massive hug. My son is 14 has autism & fragile x & it’s a kinky bloody world being a special needs mum. I spend most of my life wiping his bum & bathing him sometimes 5 times a day. Constantly changing bed sheets and forever buying pull ups that don’t fit him. Please keep on at the drs schools and whoever else you can find for some support xx

Bence69 · 10/12/2020 05:22

Just read that back I mean lonely not kinky so sorry. The joys of no sleep for 14 years x

Duggeehugs82 · 04/02/2021 22:38

I just wanted to say i cant offer any advice but i have just posted as i have 4 year old and its so tough sending 💐

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