Checking at nighttime

[RoseMartha]

How many times is reasonable for me to check in on 12 year old with asd. Twice a week she is not allowed sleep meds. So has more trouble sleeping. She had lots of running about today. I have made environment quiet and just as light as she likes it, she has weighted blanket and some water by the bed. I have given her two back massages. The room is good temperature. She will not self soothe eg read or cuddle a toy. I have not lost my patience with her but I am feeling emotionally drained now and fed up. (I have this situation with her at least three to four times a week).

So far since 9.30 (when she chose to turn main bedroom light off), I have been into her every 5-10 minutes. I have explained this is disturbing others and not giving me any time to unwind. To which she informs me she doesnt care, ( normal response from her in this situation). She Has been aggressive tonight during this time.

I have said that most parents do not get up for their kids this often just to hug and reassure them. To which she replied that they must be crap parents and you are not much better.

So i then explained that I have been coming into her every five to ten minutes and most parents will not do this. And I am getting tired and need a rest. To which she doesnt care and she thinks I am uncaring and unreasonable. ( but used stronger language). She wants me as usual to stay awake until she falls asleep which I can sometimes manage but really tired tonight. I have explained I might fall asleep. This did not go down well.

So I said I would ask and see what others thought am I being unreasonable or is she? ( of course i know you can not always reason with asd child).

What time did she finally settle? I can only sympathise, dd10 (awaiting ados) is the same, it is so draining. I tend to just keep her up later during hols or go to bed at the same time as her as there is no chance I could possibly have any time to myself!

Can't reason with dd about how its unreasonable as she simply doesn't care and it winds her up more. Can I ask why she doesn't have sleep meds for a couple of nights a week?

Finally went to sleep about 12.30 by which time I was more awake than i had been earlier with things on my mind. I went to sleep sometime after 1.

Hospital insist no pills at least twice a week and trying to reduce her dosage. Otherwise meds are less effective.

Keeping the kids up later means I will have same problem later on in evening. And I need to stick to routine for both term time or school hols for consistency.

Sending you 🤗🤗🤗 sounds like you need them. Hoping you get some answers soon.