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How to help DD cope with me talking to other people?

2 replies

megletthesecond · 17/08/2019 20:23

This probably seems like a minor thing but it feels like the straw that breaks the camels, ie; my, back.
DD is 10 and for years she's struggled to let me chat to other adults when we're out. For instance if I see a friend in town she'll be whispering under her breath, anxiously, that I must not talk to them. She gets herself into a state and can get upset and aggressive, I'll get yanked away and she kicks my feet. She will also go silent if they talk to her. I don't force her to talk to people either, although a hello would be nice.

Her older brother is nothing like this and happily says hello to people I bump into and will hover while I have a quick chat.

I'm a LP which doesn't help and DD has had issues since pre-school age, not sleeping, , violence and stubbornness etc. I've had the usual story of being dismissed by CAMHS, and bit of help from school parent liaison person out of their depth.

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Legoroses · 21/08/2019 03:52

You obviously have spotted that it's anxiety that's making her freak out. I'm just wondering what the anxiety is about specifically in this situation. It could be a mixture of general anxiety about being out and about in a busy place, having an unexpected thing happen disrupting how dd is managing by having a plan herself about what is going to happen while she's out, losing control of events, and/or a fear of the social rules about meeting an adult.

For this age, you could try the little comic strip drawings to illustrate to your dd what you and the other adult are thinking at that moment. Perhaps that would help with the social fear/theory of mind issues about meeting an unknown adult? Might also be a way for you to communicate what you would like in that circumstance. If you can make it a bit funny that can help, but very much much depends on the child.

www.autism.org.uk/about/strategies/social-stories-comic-strips.aspx

megletthesecond · 23/08/2019 19:07

Thanks lego. I'll take a look.

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