help! is my baby autistic?

[emsybaby]

new to posting, so apologies for any faux-pas! i am getting increasingly worried about my 8 week old's behaviour. he is ds3, so am beyond anxious 1st-time parent. he just seems so utterly miserable all the time. basically, if he's not feeding or asleep then he's crying. he feeds well and is putting on weight, etc and sleeps quite well at night, so i am just about staying sane. something just doesn't feel right. his body is constantly tensed up and he seems uncomfortable, even after really thorough winding. his movements are still very jerky - clawing at everything. he usually calms down when held, but if he's lying down he just screams (very loudly) and songs, words, actions do absolutely nothing. he has smiled a couple of times, but at random stuff, not at the beaming faces of his parents or brothers. when held, he looks past me, never at my face. when he wakes up, he starts screaming instantly. i tried leaving him for a bit today, and took a shower and got ready whilst he howled - 30 minutes without once stopping or lessening in intensity at all!! it's just really starting to get me down, and with a 5 and 3 year old on summer hols and no help at home (dp very good, but at work from 8-8) i can't afford to get post-natal depression! my nephew has aspergers and seemed to go through a lot of similar stuff. did parents of autistic children know from this early that something wasn't quite right? is there any point in talking to doc or hv? would really appreciate any advice, or a reassuring word or two.

I suspect it is really very early for anyone to make an informed judgement . Could he have reflux or did he have a difficult delivery ? Might benefit form baby massage or cranial osteopathy .

Its far too early to suspect ASD, however trust your instincts when you say something does'nt feel right and speak to your HV, it could be something as simple as colic, or indeed a reflux, is he keeping most of his milk down?

he sicks up a bit sometimes, and does seem quite windy. natural delivery, just gas and air. mw did break my waters and things ended up going quite fast, but wasn't difficult. he's not keen on massage - arches back and shouts louder. think i will try cranial osteopath - bit sceptical but quite desperate! thanks for kind words.

cranial osteopath a good bet, but also worth trying looking at reflux. My friend's ds was like this until he had his reflux treated when he changed overnight. He had 'silent' reflux so he was particularly sick but it must have been burning him.

FWIW my severely autistic ds1 was the world's most content, happiest, smiliest baby.

I think it's too early to speculate on autism.

Although, I had an inkling from the time she was born that DD1 was 'different'.

But her official diagnosis is GDD with dyspraxia.

Honestly, from your description, though, it's too soon to know.

My severe ASD ds was a joy as a baby, far easier than his NT sister.

As an parent, if you have concerns, talk to your health visitor or GP. Really hopes he settles soon

I would also recommend cranial osteopathy - amazing thing (and I am a sceptical medic!)

Some babies are just grumpy, but if you have concerns then maybe see a HV or GP? But I would definitely try CO first.

if i had another baby and it screamed and could not be consolled...appeared to hate being handled/dressed/bathed or refused feeds- ALL THE TIME....then yes...for me it would be history repeating itself- and i would start looking at open toed babygrows,removing lables that rubbed and certainly not beating myself up when my baby prefered to be left alone than be cuddled.

as that is my experience of autism...though at the time we had no idea...this is just what i have looked back on with good old hindsight.

however...like gess said...the other extreme is the contented baby...that you don't know you've got..who passively watches the world go by...will be cuddled by anyone...shows no concern when you leave the room...in another world.

just like my brothers baby daughter- 9 months old.

i think you have to wait- be aware for sure...make notes if that helps for the 'milestone checks'....

for me knowing what i know now...the key alarms for me (though i had no idea then!)
were...

no babbling (ds1 made noises with his throat,laughed and screeched- but no babbling that i see countless babies do when i walk past pushchairs in town)

and
they don't show you what they want by pointing...but by dragging you or turning your whole body towards what they want...similarily...when playing won't involve you...or to the extreme 'use you' to play with...ie constantly demanding you do this or that. (ds3 now 8 still grabs me or pulls my face towards what he is talking about...he thinks that if i'm not looking at him then i am not listening...his eyecontact is excessive...so he thinks i am ignoring him if i look away)

Don't want to scare you - just bears so much resemblance to my DD2 at that age. My DD2 has Cerebral Palsy and used to scream constantly when awake. He was an absolute nightmare, and if he had been my first I would NEVER have had another baby! We did not know about his condition until he was 20months old, so I just thought he was an awkward baby. He used to binge feed from 3pm to 9pm having bottle after bottle, then sleep through the night. Unless he was feeding or asleep, he would scream, and many times I sat at the bottom of my stairs in tears myself! I ended up buying a teddy bear with a sound pack in it's tummy which played womb sounds when the baby moved or cried. It saved my life!! Can't remember where I got it - took a lot of tracking down. I will try to find it at put it on here for you. DD2 used to stop crying almost instantly and go to sleep. I also bought one if those automatic swings which I used to put him in during the day if I needed some peace! You say he arches his back and seems tense all the time. These are classic CP symptoms, but could also be something else so don't panic. Talk to your GP or HV about your concerns.
Good luck.

It's called a slumber bear, and you can buy it online from www.babysleepshop.com
Hope it helps!

emsybaby - you know I could have written that about my dd2 about a year ago. Even down to the not smiling at me. I would sometimes lie down in her eye line adn will her to look at me and she wouldn't. She is now just over one and although she did have reflux and is quite a tiny thing still, I am really sure she doesn't have ASD or any other SN. My dd1 is disabled so I am pretty aware of the signs. dd2 is such a happy interactive fun little girl now. So different to when she was a newborn.

Obviously no-one can say at this stage. But don't automatically think their must be something wrong.

Cranial osteopathy a good idea to try whatever, it isn't going to do any harm. I am a great believer. Not that it can necassarily 'cure'anything but that it might help.

CO has really helped my autistic daughter. I would try a course of that first, because 8 weeks is really too young to be diagnosing ASD.