Hints for coping with a child with SN and new born!!

[eidsvold]

Just wondering/imagining etc how I will cope with new babe when he/she arrives and dd - in terms of appts, daily physio, lifting dd, therapy appts, playgroup and just simple day to day things....

I realise new born will sleep for most of the day at first but not sure how I will go with sleep deprivation and then dealing with dd during the day!!

Any suggestions or helpful hints most welcome

eidsvold, you'll manage fine it is tricky at times, at appointments other staff are often very helpful and will offer to look after baby if necessary. Other things might have to give - we had to drop tumbletots when ds was born, there was just no way we could keep going as ds would start howling in his carseat at the beginning of every session. Just console yourself that dd having a sibling is so beneficial for her. As for lifting, you'll become a pro at carrying two children simultaneously, it's not as hard as it looks!
I find mealtimes and bedtimes the trickiest and can offer no hard & fast solutions there, but then I have three small children and more chances of something going wrong that way.
Speech exercises and reading books can be done very well whilst breastfeeding...
It'll work out just fine, honestly. You'll find ways of dealing with challenges.

you will be fine eidsvold. It is just about making a routine to fit both of them. I wont lie appointments are hard especially as youinger child turns into a raving lunatic of a toddler, but you will be fine honest!

Portage sessons were thoroughly enjoyed by ds too!

Ds2 was fine with appointments as a baby and was quite happy to sit and watch the world go by. As soon as he learned to walk he hated being stuck in his pushchair. I would recommend taking a few of dd2/ds1's favourite toys or something that they haven't seen before to (hopefully) keep them occupied for a while. When that stopped working either dh had to take time off to look after ds2 or ds2 just wandered around the room.

Ds1 was surprisingly keen to help look after ds2 and liked to help pass nappies, wipes etc during changes.

eidsvold - I have no experience to share as only have dd but on a practical note, if you don't have one already, a hippychick hip seat might be useful - link here . I use one to carry dd around as she is getting quite heavy and it really really helps - might make it easier to carry/pick up 2 at once! I find I can do a lot more with my spare hand/arm when she is on the seat than I can if I am just trying to balance her on my hip, if that makes sense.

I would try and get some therapists to do home visits wherever possible.

Having gone through this last year, my advice is to get some help! We wouldn't consider it at first but then, as the birth drew nearer, we got scared about how we would cope. We have no family help and someone who could spend time/look after either DS or the baby gave us a lot more flexibility. It also meant that I could do things again with DS quite quickly and I think it helped him be less resentful with the baby than he could have been. We didn't hand over care for either of them by any means, it just gave us some options and a bit of a break now and then. If you've got family help (that you can tolerate) that's great but, if not, anyone like a helpful local 6th former who might be interested in a career in childcare.

Agree- wish we had done this with ds2. My mum has kindly booked my cleaner (who also looks after the kids) to help out several times a week for the first few months after the birth.

In terms of day to day things I would recommend getting a baby swing if you don't have one. We bought a second hand one for ds2 and I really wished I had had it first time also. It gives you somewhere to deposit the baby swinging gently (or a little faster depending how desperate things are ) and hopefully happy while dealing with any issues with the older child.

I found a baby swing no use at all! Baby didn't like it and DS loved it, squashed his fat 8 year old body into it and eventually wrecked it (luckily it was 2nd hand £10!)

LOL Davros