I don't know whether to post this on SN but ds 12 is on the waiting list for assessment for ASD/ADHD. I feel that I've just been so awful to him, and am confused about his behaviour. This evening he gave me a fine example of his refusing to try and do anything that he thinks he cant do perfectly, and he avoids it by crying, getting angry with himself, storming off,hitting himself. I dont know if he does this as an elaborate technique to avoid things he doesn't want to do, or what it means. It is because he is now on waiting list that I look at his eccentric behaviour as something he possibly can't help, and feel guilty about telling him to "pull himself together", or not doing something earlier. I don't always do this but have tonight and think I have hurt him again.