ADHD. I think we need outside professional help- but where/how?

[spottyowls]

Back story in a nutshell: 10 year old DS with ADHD diagnosis. Anecdotal evidence to suggest it is probably linked with a genetic neuro condition he has (v rare). 121 Support in mainstream school. Main issues are his impulsivity, anger, violence (his gut response to anything involves fists, he bites, swears, etc). He's reacted to whatever it is well before he has given a moments thought to his actions. Sensory issues, chews constantly. The dynamic/rivalry between him and his older sibling is a nightmare. He has massive self esteem issues which present as cockiness/silly behaviour to garner attention. It's a huge balancing act giving him as much positive attention as possible while being unable to let the worst behaviour slide, and I feel like we are dropping more plates than we have left spinning in the air!

We are reaching breaking point at home this week and I need to come up with some sort of action plan.

DS hasn't been medicated for his ADHD yet. His neurologists say it doesn't fall within their remit (their referral to CAHMS was bounced back to community paed) and the paediatrician team who diagnosed ADHD are wary due to his neuro condition. Currently awaiting paed appointment in September following their consultation with neurology re which med to try (he can't have stimulants). Things are so bad I feel like we can't wait until then.

I have read so many parenting books, we have implemented so many different strategies recommended for children with these sorts of challenges.

We are already very careful with his diet and have a good idea of which things affect him following an elimination diet a few years ago.

I am wondering whether sleep quality/amount is an issue. He struggles to get to sleep and tosses and turns all night in his sleep. I have recently bought him a child fitness tracker to get a better idea of how well/much he is sleeping vs good/days. In desperation I have also ordered some liquid melatonin to try before bedtime.

We have been working on mindfulness and trying to use some guided meditation stuff aimed at kids but it's a real battle to get him to focus on it. Complete lack of success on this front so far but will keep plugging away.

I feel as though we need some extra professional help with him. We are really proactive when it comes to his behaviour management but it's not enough.

In terms of seeking private help, would a psychologist be the best starting point? Has anyone sought the help of a private psychologist and benefitted?

I expect a medication trial to start in September which is all well and good but I feel like we really need to get to the bottom of what is driving his more challenging behaviour so that we can better support him!

Any advice warmly welcomed.

Shameless bump...

Bumping for you again. X

I suggest seeing a psychiatrist privately. We paid £500 to see someone fast, then got back into CAMHS.

It's so hard. We are in the same boat. Dreading the holidays.

Do you have any input from Social Services? I am trying to lean on them for some respite and any other help.

Good luck and PM me if you want to discuss further. We have just started on meds so are a couple of months ahead of you.

Thank you @Ivegotthree (and thanks for the bump @danni0509!), it's comforting to know there are others in the same boat!

Interesting to hear you recommend a psychiatrist rather than a psychologist, I hadn't really considered that. Will have a look at what private offerings there are around here. We have private medical insurance which would cover the cost but would need a referral from the doctor first. Managed to get our paed appointment moved forward to mid-August so I think the current plan is to hang in there until then and try to get a referral. We'll pay for private ourselves if we need to but it is a lot of money! Even if we did get accepted for CAHMS referral the waiting list to be seen after initial screening appt is at least a year currently around here.

Currently trying to keep a record of stuff to show at the appointment, surreptitiously filmed videos of behaviour etc. It's pot luck whether he displays difficult behaviour at appointments!

I hear you re school holidays. Ours break up this afternoon. The last week of term is always a nightmare and it'll take a week or two to settle into holiday routine, at least!

How is the medication going for you?

Oh and no, we have never had SS involvement. Might be worth looking into if there is extra support available.

I was told you needed a psychiatrist to prescribe ADs. We are on sertraline and not having the best time, but we are currently persevering for a few more weeks to see if they work in the end.

We held out re: Social Services for a long time as I am suspicious of them but actually are now getting some respite from them as well as direct payments which help eg with paying for more respite. I recommend it.

Good luck. Ours break up today and we are bracing ourselves!

Ah, that's true, psychologists can't prescribe anything.

Good luck to you too!!!