Can mainstream senior school ever work out for children with Aspergers?

[MoominMantra]

My dd is nearing end of year 5. She has Aspergers but not a diagnosis yet. However she does already have diagnosis of ADHD and dyspraxia.

She has been very happy at her (big) primary school where I've seen her make good progress and has been pushed forward for many opportunities. She wants to go to our local high school, which has a very good reputation but I really really worry about how she will cope socially, will she be bullied etc? She's a lovely girl but is so naive and easy to take advantage of. She has matured but still is very socially different to other 10 year olds.

I have looked at a couple of non selective private schools. One of them she wasn't keen on, although I liked it (but it didn't have much in the way of facilities and it has the feel of a private school that is only just managing to break even which is a concern) and the other only takes children up to the end of year 8. I don't really think she'd fit in a specialist provision either.

I myself have AS and my parents had to move me to a girls school because id been relentlessly bullied at the local senior school.

All I hear is repeated stories of how parents have to take their Aspie children out of high school because of bullying.

Is there ever a chance it can work out?

I know it can work but it depends on the child really and also what the school will provide.
I had to take ds1 out in year 8, and ds2 has just got to the end of year 7 and I thought he was my most likely to manage secondary, but they havent been following his EHCP at all, and he is going off the rails, so am going to give them a half term maybe to improve and see how that goes

if not, then i will change schools or fight for a sen school, or HE, but overwhelmingly, I think mainstream secondary schools can be VERY difficult for autistic kids

DS2 has ASD and ADHD. He also has traits of dyspraxia.
He has just finished Y12 in a mainstream state secondary school. He hasn't been bullied there. He has found a group of friends who are quiet / geeky like him. He really enjoys school, particularly the STEM enrichment opportunities offered (he is gifted at science and maths). He is also doing well adacemically; has been predicted 4 x A* in his A-levels.

I work in a (different) mainstream state secondary school. We have several pupils in each year group who are on the autistic spectrum. I'm not aware of the pupils with ASD being bullied (and I work in a pastoral role). The difficulties they face are mostly sensory (it can be loud) and the accumulative stress of having to socially interact with people all day. We have a room where they can go to sit quietly and decompress if needed.

Thanks for your replies. I think I worry most because she's a girl and other girls can be very insidiously nasty. This is very difficult to navigate socially as an autistic girl / woman.

My DD has ASD, and like you I was panicking about her moving in from primary, although hers was very small. We had the option of her going to the local secondary school with her friends which was huge or a much smaller free school about 15 miles away which she goes to. No coming to the end of year 8, she has a lovely small group of friends who have the same interest as her and a wider circle of friends but not as close. Het social skills have come on hugely and she has found her niche with learning. I think that an all girls school for my DD would have ended in disaster.

Ds is 15 and has struggled at a mainstream selective state school. He is currently being assessed for ASD though and I definitely think things would have been much better had he gone in with a diagnosis. He is now getting support but having had none for the first three years of secondary has caused many issues. He has just about coped though and it hasn't been a complete disaster it just could have been much better.

Our DS with ASD went to a fabulous mainstream secondary school. He was very happy there and made good progress.There was some low level bullying but it was very quickly nipped in the bud by the school.

ds has struggled since yr 5. yr 7 brought it all to a head. He is now home schooled via an online school. so far, so good!

ds high functioning ASD

@dontpanicmrmainwaring can I ask what online schooling you are using please?
My dd is really struggling in mainstream school and I am just trying to make a decision if it's best to take her out and home school.

we are using my online schooling. We love it! just done our 3rd full week. Ds is doing really well. They allow you to trial/ sit in an actual class. interhigh don`t. (although they use adobe connect the same as a platform). For online school we were sent a booklist(textbooks) in August. It came to £40 if that? All sourced/ linked to amazon. So not expensive. Homework is file shared/ scanned(into a file) across. Admin are really helpful .Ds is yr 8.Be aware that every subject has homework (independant learning they call it) after with a week to do it. I think ds found that a shock to start with lol! But its not usually more than 1/2 an hours worth per subject. any questions fire away.x