It has just dawned on me that 2 of my children have sn

[mummy2aaron]

After speaking to my HV today and her telling me she has the report back from DD's SALT and she has been described as having severe problems, it has finally dawned on me that she has problems, I thought she was 2 and probably just a late talker as her elder brother has asd and takes a lot of controlling. I thought really it was her bid for attention. I am very tearful. Not self pity hinest I can hope she hasnt changed it's just so sad.

MummytoAaron - I had an interesting conversation with our ABA supervisor about this recently. His advice was to be very, very cautious with professionals who suggest that a sibling of a child with SEN also has the same SEN. His view is that people (parents and professionals) are very susceptible to suggestion and may 'see' signs of autism, for example, because the sibling has it and there are known genetic links. He said he would always recommend getting a child assessed independently by someone who didn't know that their sibling had SEN. He also said that many so-called red flags for autism are observed in NT children but the difference between them and their autistic peers is that the NT children grow out of them - they're natural developmental stages in other words - whereas the autistic children don't, without structured intensive help.

I'm not for a moment suggesting that you shouldn't take your DD's speech delay seriously but it might not mean that she has ASD. I agree with the others that her play skills sound very positive and the whole temper thing could easily be a developmental stage.

only just seen this mummy2aaron

she sounds a bit like my dd, she has a speech delay/disorder (not sure which yet) and i broke my heart when i knew she had SN as well as DS.

ive lost your email address.
if you still have mine send me a mail and we will have to meet up, if not ill put it on ttr.

hugs
jen
x

I have been having probs with ttr jen I can read but not post. I have been study dd quite closely since the appt and she is trying to say things and they are not always right or just part of a word, not clearly either. I spoke to the salt who ran the hanen i went on and she says to keep on with those strategies.

A quick update. Nearly a month later and dd is trying to say so much - recognisable words - play food juice sit sock shoe telly flowers birdie doggie kitty nannie aeroplane jack boogie - they are not clear but i understand them but then they all start out like that when learning to speak anyway. I have high hopes for her, she may not speak properly who knows but at least she is trying and we are communicating.

Got my DLA renewal form today for ds2 what a nightmare.

Blimey - don't know if I should be worried. My ds is just one month younger and is behind your dd. He also has an older brother with ASD (and a middle girl sister). He turned two at the end of last month and says nothing other than mummy, daddy, bye bye and er that's it... my HV says not to worry and that they used to constantly refer children at age 2 for not talking but now make it 2 1/2 because they can change dramatically during this time. Sounds like your dd is doing fine. Keep us updated as I will be watching this thread with interest.

I am not sure if have just been missing it iyswim, she isnt clear but is trying. My fingers are crossed she will be ok but I am hoping after a couple of months of Playgroup things will be very different. I wish she said Mummy but she calls me by my name lol.

mummytoaaron. I'm suprised the HV made any predictions. my number 3 was like your DD at 2 and they claimed he would have severe autism. He didn't talk, rarely made eye contact. His older brother has Aspergers so we assumed it was something in us. At 3 he had an appointment with a developmental psychiatrist (still no talking although behaviour improved)after no-one did anything for a year. Little bugger walked in, said 'hello lady' (his very first words) and proceeded to co-operate in all her tests.
He's now 12 and fine although its possible he has dyspraxia. I can't be bothered to get him tested cos I'm already dealing with 14 yo Aspie plus 3 yo severe cerebral palsy. He's fine enough to cope with life IYSWIM
So hopefully things will be ok and she's just late cos she's a second child but I am surprised they aren't doing any follow up.

thanks needmorecoffee, they are all different, i do think if they have a sibling with special needs it changes their opinion tbh. I have an older son age 8 who is fine, no sn btw.

xx

My older son is ASD and his younger sister still wasn't talking at 3.5. At 5 she is talking just like any other child...with just some very minor pronounciation problems. It's weird but it just came. But back when she was nearly 4 and still talking like an 18 month old I panicked.

We still don't know why her speech was delayed. She did have some ear problems that we were unaware of for awhile. She does great at school now and has no other problems.

For a long time I was convinced that I had 2 kids with ASD/special needs because DD's speech was so poor and I went into a very dark place emotionally. I nearly stopped getting out of bed.

I know it's hard but try to stay positive and focused.

Thanks anoah, I have hope so thats enough for now, she doesnt have to talk much or be eloquent just to be able to communicate without frustration is all i ask for.