Will my little girl ever talk? (Likely ASD)

[Sunny4124]

Hi everyone,

Just wanting some opinions/ experiences please, particularly from parents of ASD children :-)

My DD is 3.2, and is currently on the pathway for ASD. Her main traits are severe speech delay (very limited speech - the odd word) and limited understanding of language, and sensory stuff (she’s v sensory seeking). Socially she’s okay-ish.

She is the cutest, smiliest little girl and the absolute centre of my world! I’m finding this whole thing really really hard, as is my partner.

Anyway, what I’m struggling with is this: Will she ever talk? Will I ever have a conversation with her? I’d LOVE to know what’s going on in her mind.

I know no-one can tell me conclusively, but, I’d love to hear from parents of ASD children who had speech delay at 3, to see how they are getting on now, particularly with speech. Are they still non- verbal? Or are they now speaking at a typical level? Or somewhere in between?

Where we are so far: She says the odd word meaningfully: e.g. milk, outside, dada, bye bye, peppa, night night. And that has improved slowly in the last 6 months. Apart from that, it’s either babble (pretty constant and really super cute), or repeating phrases out of context (e.g. bye bye when no one is leaving). We have a private SALT (since she’s been 2.7) who has been brilliant - she first helped us improve her attention and listening, and recently has been helping us teach her PECS. DD has picked PECS up really well, still only on stage 1 but only been doing it for 2/3 weeks and it just seems to have clicked, both at home and in nursery. And whilst she doesn’t point, she’s really coming on with other non-verbal cues, e.g, putting our hand on her empty cup when she wants a drink.

For parents in a similar situation when their children were 3, how is their language now? I’m hoping and praying that one day I can have a conversation with her, honestly if and when that happens I’ll seriously feel like I’ve won the flipping lottery :-) x

Hi Catandchicken!

Have you applied to the Family Fund?
Ah no, I’ll look into it! Thank you :-) The portage worker has suggested we apply for DLA too, not sure whether we’ll be accepted or not but I figure any extra money = extra speech therapy and sensory equipment (e.g. a trampoline) to help her.

It sounds like your son has had incredible support and is coming on amazingly!

DS is autistic and monologues beautifully and yes, we have conversations - something I could not have imagined when he was three
^How lovely! This has given me hope, as I just can’t imagine it at this point. What I’d give for an actual conversation with her!! I’d love to know what’s going on in her lovely mind! :-)

Thanks so much for sharing :-) x

Cerebra do a guide to filling in the DLA form:
www.cerebra.org.uk/help-and-information/guides-for-parents/dla-guide/
I have found it very hard seeing it down in black and white and having to analyse what your child cannot do but completed it over a couple of days; your private SALT will lend weight to an application as will your portage worker - the existence of both acts as evidence of need.
Trampolines, tents, bikes, ipads - Family Fund do all that - and short breaks!

Thanks Catandchicken
I’ll check it out! Thanks for the suggestion :-) x

My ds was non verbal at 4, then gradually got a few key words (juice being the first and Gaggy for Daddy) but his speech was almost unintelligible until he was 9 to anyone but his closest family.
But it kept improving and now as a young adult he talks well..and never stops. Granted much of it is either scripted or about his obsessions but you would never know how delayed it had been.
He went to Special School and had a lot of input.
PECS is fab (I'm fully trained as I also work in Special Ed) and the younger the better. It doesn't hinder spoken language at all, and it gives the child a voice. High tech like Grid or Proloquotogo is awesome but sometimes a basic pecs book or even a laminated sheet with photos that a child can point to (of food, people, favourite things) is a great way to start.

Your description of your Dd sounds exactly like my DD1 when she was 3 and even at age 4. She could only say the odd single words like your DD1. But now age 5 she can read at level 4, spell and write.Her speech improved greatly in the last 6 months just before she turned 5. She can speak using 3-4 word sentences. I found the “More than words” book Hanen program very useful. It helped us greatly.
For instance previously she would say “water” if she wanted a drink. But insisted on her saying “I want or can I have” before offering her the drink. And I did a lot of prompting. So if she said water. I will prompt saying “I” then she remembers and fills in the gap saying “I want water please “ until she mastered it and uses it for all request. Speech and Language therapy needs to be incorporated into to daily lives for it to work. The SLT sessions delivered for 1 hour didn’t do anything for us until I started doing the SLT myself using the more than words book.

Another one here with a child with very delayed and disordered language and ASD. At three he had nouns, colours and numbers, and family names except mama ( ). 14 now and his language is clunky and unusual but he can make himself understood, read, tell jokes,understands birthdays/Christmas, plays games, rides bikes, goes on holiday.... he’s just beautiful inside and out.

www.hanen.org/Helpful-Info/Articles/Parents-as--Speech-Therapists--What-a-New-Study-S.aspx

This is an article on the effects of parents as speech therapist and the outcome of parent intervention. From my experience it works

Hi StillMedusa

Oh wow, to go from being non verbal at 4 to talking well, sounds like he’s done brilliantly! Well done to him and you! And very reassuring!

The PECS so far has been brilliant... she doesn’t really mimick so we haven’t had any luck with signing, and she just “gets” PECS, although we are in early stages! I’m reading about it as much as I can as want to become proficient in it myself! Have thought about the programmes for the iPad etc, I think she’d like those too, we’ll see how we go :-)

Thank you for sharing, much appreciated :-) x

Hi Larrissaa

Your description of your Dd sounds exactly like my DD1 when she was 3 and even at age 4
Oh god, if my DD is speaking using 3-4 word sentences and can read/write by the time she’s 5 I’ll be absolutely over the moon :-)

Speech and Language therapy needs to be incorporated into to daily lives for it to work
I do agree with this! I’ve read the article you’ve linked too. She’s been seeing a private SALT who is brilliant, and the SALT has also been teaching us techniques to use with her daily and also going into nursery and showing them, so that everyone is consistent. So she’s sort of a guide really in what we should be doing, but DD is hopefully getting constant intervention from parents/ nursery - and I’ve found that that seems to work for us :-)

I’ll see how we get on but I’ve heard the Hanen books mentioned a lot :-)

Thank you :-) x

Hi Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis

Ah lovely! My DD is still struggling with nouns/ colours etc but hopefully it will come......

... he can make himself understood, read, tell jokes,understands birthdays/Christmas, plays games, rides bikes, goes on holiday....
Ah, love this! Very reassuring! He sounds so happy and he’s doing amazing :-)

he’s just beautiful inside and out
Love love love this so much!

Thank you for sharing :-) x

Ds was almost non verbal at 3 and had very little understanding or non verbal communication . He was diagnosed with asd at 2.

He’s now 6 and you wouldn’t know he ever had any difficulty with speech or understanding

I’ve just had a send meeting with school and he’s above national average in maths and reading

He really started to come on in reception , before that he was a few years behind at least in everything. He was toilet trained just before he turned 5

ChaosIsntAPitChaosIsALadder

I love reading things like this, thank you ❤️

There were times we worried if he’s ever talk, come out of nappies, manage ms school etc actually it was all I worried about in the beginning along with if he’d ever be independent

He spent an extra year in the two year room before going into the foundation stage one group because he just couldn’t cope in the environment

Another thing that has improved is his sensory problems, he was incredibly sensitive to noise to thaw point it was impossible to take him out and enjoy anything. He has developed his own coping mechanisms now

Last year and this we have been able to go out for meals, to the park, to the cinema. We even managed goose fair last year

@Sunny4124 how are you and your little one doing i seem to be in the same boat you were nearly 3.5 years ago.

@121314mum I would also enjoy an update as I am in the same boat too. My 3 year old son talks and says a lot of words, copies etc on his own terms, but absolutely zero communication or understanding really at all 🙁