School in Sep - what should I do?

[TippetyTapWriter]

Hi, I’ve had another thread in here about ds and you were all very helpful. He’s just turned 4 and starts school in sep. His nursery have been raising concerns about various things (social skills etc) which all suggest asd and after being referred to the inclusion team he’s currently waiting to see a paediatrician but that won’t be until September after school starts.

I’m just wondering what I should be doing - should I contact the school? He’s got his first visit next week where we visit the classroom for an hour. I guess I’m worried he’s going to get labelled as the naughty/difficult kid by the teacher or other parents before he’s even started! Nursery have said they’ll talk to the school to explain the situation. I’ll ask them when that will be and what they’ll say. Would I be able to see a copy of any report they give?

Also for the paediatrician appointment, I’ve read other threads where people have said about passing on SALT and Ed Psych reports etc but ds hasn’t had either. Is there anything I can do/prepare to get the most out of the appointment? He was under a paediatrician when he was born because they thought there were some issues with his brain (ventriculomegaly) but he was discharged at 10mo old because they decided his measurements were normal after all. Is that relevant? Will they have those notes?

And also I’ve been thinking of researching home education as a last resort if ds is really struggling at school. Any tips or thoughts on that would be appreciated.

Thanks so much x

I would try to speak to the teacher and/or SENco ahead of your son’s visit and explain the situation. Are you staying with him for the visit? If not is he likely to need extra support? I would say you should arrange a proper meeting with them to discuss his needs in more detail.

I’ve been reading about home education in order to find ways to help scaffold my ds’s learning as he’s very resistant to practicing ‘school’ activities at home. I came across Charlotte Mason which is an approach popular in the US. She was English and wrote in the early 20th century and it won’t be for everyone but a lot of her ideas were way ahead of her time and ones that are still being touted as good practice today. If you can get past the anachronisms and the religious aspect (if that’s not your bag) it may be useful. There are tonnes of American homeschoolers on YouTube.

If your DS has just turned 4 then he will not be compulsory school age until September 2020 - so you could look into delaying his school start.

If the visit involves any time without parents there then I would contact school to explain about his additional needs. My DS started school in September - last Summer the rest of his cohort had 3 school visits but DS had the standard 3 plus three extra to help him with the transition.

Yes, talk to the school.
I guess I’m worried he’s going to get labelled as the naughty/difficult kid by the teacher or other parents before he’s even started

^ Exactly why you need to open the conversation with them as soon as you can. Let them know that he is on a waiting list for a social, communication assessment.

Whilst he has been at Nursery, has he had support plans in place? Have they been differentiating for him ? Have they been putting strategies in place to help him ?
The more the school know about what has been tried and what works / what doesn't work for the child, then the transition is going to be so much easier.

Nursery have said they’ll talk to the school to explain the situation. I’ll ask them when that will be and what they’ll say. Would I be able to see a copy of any report they give?
Yes, you can ask to see anything they have on record for him, but it is most likely they will be having conversations about him, verbally.

Also for the paediatrician appointment, I’ve read other threads where people have said about passing on SALT and Ed Psych reports etc but ds hasn’t had either. Is there anything I can do/prepare to get the most out of the appointment?

Ask the Nursery to complete a developmental profile and take a copy with you.
Jot down a list of things that you notice, or that you think your ds might do slightly differently from his peers. Wherever possible, try to use 'measurable quantities'..... so rather than 'doesn't sleep well' , note when he sleeps, when he wakes, what an 'average night' looks like.
Try and think about things you might do, which might have become every day for you now, to accommodate him, or to avoid him being upset.

Think about different areas of development - what is his speech like, his understanding, his eating, his sleeping, what happens when he goes somewhere new?, what about his play? - what does he play with, does he use things and pretend they are something else, what happens if someone joins hi in his play, etc. etc. Do noises bother him or different textures, etc etc

Is that relevant? Will they have those notes?
First appt should take a full history. You'd like to hope so, but never assume - always tell them twice rather than not at all.

Thanks everyone. I have spoken to nursery and emailed the school. Apparently the nursery SENCO has already sent some info to the school and the school teachers will be visiting the nursery at some point too.