How to stop breastfeeding my autistic child

[CarrieBlu]

My DC is 3 and is currently on the diagnostic pathway for autism. Every professional we have seen so far seems sure that DC is autistic, we are just waiting for an official diagnosis.

My DC still breastfeeds. She would breastfeed multiple times a day if I let her. I try to avoid this by being busy and not sitting down too much as otherwise she is constantly grabbing at my breasts and it’s driving me mad. I can never just sit and relax near her as she won’t leave my breasts alone. I don’t know how to get her to at least cut back and preferably stop sometime soon. I try to refuse giving her milk but she will relentlessly pester and grab at me until I give in.

She has a speech delay and doesn’t understand when I try to explain to her that I don’t want to breastfeed, for whatever reason.

I feel selfish for wanting to stop, but it’s uncomfortable and tiring. I just want a little bit of personal space back really. Any advice from anyone who has experienced the same difficulties would be welcome. Thanks.

I may be a bad parent but I transitioned to bottles to allow the suck obsession/ comfort. She was 3 and had never had one madly. At 7 she still has one each morning and evening and sometimes returning home. I’ve such a fight not to, and it helps her sleep and relax so much I’m kinda past caring.

I’m not sure if it’s the correct approach, but it saved my sanity

Can you try to analyse what she’s getting from it, and plan to meet those needs in another way? So if it’s the being held securely and being close to you, would holding her just the same but giving her a bottle work? Then she’s still getting the sensory input of the holding, the scent of you, the closeness etc, but without actually suckling you. I think you have to set a date to change to the bottle and absolutely stick to it, though - just calmly and firmly show her that it’s the bottle now instead of the boob, but that everything else is the same (ie position), and don’t give in at all, not even once! She’ll struggle with the change, but if you keep as much as possible the same, hopefully adjust.

Thanks for your replies, and suggestions. I did try her with bottles around a year or so ago when I was pregnant, she wouldn’t even entertain putting it in her mouth back then, but I’m definitely willing to try it again.

I probably should have mentioned before, I’m also breastfeeding her baby brother, so it makes it very hard to distract her as she can see what’s happening when he’s feeding and she becomes completely focused on wanting to breastfeed too. She will even try and push my breast out of her brothers mouth if I don’t offer her the other side.

I’m just really tired and drained. I was happy to tandem feed for a while but I feel like I’ve done my time now.

OhForkItThen, when you transitioned to bottles, what type of milk did you use? I have tried formula, cows and oat milk in cups before. She has been enthusiastic to try it when I’ve told her it’s milk, but she spits it out straight away when she tastes that it’s not my breast milk. I suppose I could pump some milk for her but I’m not rush if that’s further creating a rod for my own back!

Not sure*

I started with BM then started to mix small amounts of cows milk in until it was 100% cows milk over two weeks. Tbh I’m not sure it’s the right way! I was just over the edge

My DS was still insatiable at 3yrs. I can really understand how that plus a baby would be too much. I didn't appreciate why my DS was taking longer to wean at that point, so you have that on your side.

If it's a sensory thing, as people have said, working out what she's seeking and then finding an alternative should help, but it will be more than that. She's likely to be emotionally immature. It's perfectly normal for, say, a two year old to still be breastfeeding (although maybe not in this country so much). I say this as I don't know if not feeling like she should have weaned by now would help you feel less irritated by it.

I've heard a flour filled balloon is a good, if potentially messy, substitute for skin, if she's seeking that.

For what it's worth I found that once I'd finally said enough was enough DS did get over it reasonably quickly.

Hey I hope you’re doing well

do you mind me asking if you saw any early signs of autism in your baby? At 6-9 months

thank you in advance for any response x