Nightmare with cahms- private assessment?

[N2986]

I'm hoping someone can help. I have a ds aged 4 who it is clear has some sort of behavioural/developmental problems. He struggles with changes, sensory things etc

However when cahms have assessed him, because he has great speech and will interact with adults really well they have determined that he is neurotypical.

I however disagree. He really struggles socially with children, can't abide noise or crowds, has very set routines and speech patterns etc. he greatly lacks empathy and understanding of jokes, sarcasm etc. I honestly feel that cahms believe I'm making it all up.

Has anyone been through the same or had any luck with private assessment?

We have been through CAMHS twice, when my son was 5 and 8 years old. Fobbed off due to eye contact and semi articulate speech, they did acknowledge that he had “autistic traits”. Yes I know that!

To cut a long story short - go private preferably one that also does NHS referrals also- this should stop anyone getting sniffy about you getting private dx.

My son is only coping at school now as they decided to treat him as though he has dx,

We are having private assessment in a few weeks ( now having the financial means to do so).
I resent having to pay for something as clear as day and feel CAMHS in my area atr not fit for purpose . I worry for the families that don’t have this option.

Fobbed off due to eye contact

That's atrocious, not all autistic people struggle with eye contact, it shouldn't have been given as a reason to dismiss autism.

We’re in the same spot, our 5 year old DS sounds just like yours. Our 7 year old DD waited 2 years for her autism diagnosis and we’ll not wait again if it turns out to be right for our son - we’ll save, beg, borrow the money for a private assessment.

But I’d echo what a previous poster said, try to find a private practitioner that also does NHS work, so they can’t ‘invalidate’ the assessment just because you paid for it, as that would cast doubt on the NHS work done by the same doctor and they won’t want to do that.

Listen to your gut and keep pushing. Professionals are sadly often wrong or it takes them years to catch up with what the parents know and observe.

If you can afford to get a private assessment, do it, albeit as others said with someone who also diagnose for the NHS.

Don't wait (if you can afford it), sadly there are enough hurdles and delays and frankly lack of services once you've got a dx.