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Original poster

If one more person asks me if dd will be normal...

26 replies

frascati · 10/07/2007 21:39

when she grows up I will scream.

How bloody insensitive

Why do people think they can say/ask what they like when your child has a sn/disability?

OP posts:
sarah293 · 10/07/2007 21:45

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coppertop · 10/07/2007 21:51

"Will she be normal?" That's beyond insensitive.

Original poster
frascati · 10/07/2007 21:54

I said to him (my neighbour not something we think of and what's normal anyway?
I just think would people be so personal if she didn't have sn?

OP posts:
sarah293 · 10/07/2007 21:57

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moondog · 10/07/2007 21:59

Fucking ridiculous.

I would look at them cooly and say
'More to the point-will you???? You're not exactly sailing on an even keel are you?'

Original poster
frascati · 10/07/2007 22:03

riven ~ oh yes he followed it off with "such a shame" and I was like "no not really, we are so lucky to have dd in our lives, not a shame at all" Thing is we love her quirkiness!

OP posts:
aloha · 10/07/2007 22:03

What a HORRIBLE thing to say!

mummytosteven · 10/07/2007 22:06

jeez. completely out of order.

homemama · 10/07/2007 22:07

I would be tempted to say,'well not if normal means being a rude, insesitive idiot!'

Blu · 10/07/2007 22:09

Yes, how bloody, bloody insensitive.

What a horrible thing to say.

Original poster
frascati · 10/07/2007 22:10

I love Luke Jacksons motto "Different is cool. Why can't other people see it that way?
For instance today I parked up to take dd into the hairdressers and where we live there is a home for adults with learning difficulties. There was a couple in their 20's who had ld. Anyway I could see a group of men sniggering and I just thought what a nasty world we live in. They weren't harming anyone but people can't help having a dig.

OP posts:
Jenkeywoo · 10/07/2007 22:52

I am sick of people asking if dd is 'better yet' - she has CP, it's not going away! after dh went into the office after dd's first physiotherapy someone asked if she it had worked and she is better now. GRRRR. Asking if your little one will be 'normal' is just plain rude.

anniebear · 11/07/2007 11:03

I always used to get "she will be ok when she gets older though"?

er, no!! why??? her brain damaged wont suddenly heal!!!!

Havent really had it said for a while, she is nearly 6. Tended to get it more when she was a pre schooler

I still get "well she is still young, you never knoe" ocasionally

anniebear · 11/07/2007 11:05

we still do get "she is such a happy little thing"

and.......?

FioFioJane · 11/07/2007 13:50

people ask me if dd will get WORSE its bloody charming

2spells · 11/07/2007 15:52

i have lost count of the times I have been asked if she will walk and my dad always says how sad it is that she can't talk.......in fron t of her.
never mind she has cp so she is happy

lourobert · 11/07/2007 21:01

People dont mean any harm though do they???? Do you think they they are just uneducated about difference and disabilty and are just trying to say the right thing.....?! I dont know, just thinking out loud.

Ive had comments like 'its a shame' and 'oh how sad' and the biggy is ' I just dont knoe how you do it, I couldnt do it' I have worked with children and adults with disabilities and I always thought that if im totoally honest.

Another is 'god chosses special mums for special chidlren' and whilst I know people are trying to fill an awkward silence i find that so patronising, maybe im being a bit harsh there...!

sarah293 · 11/07/2007 21:11

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anniebear · 11/07/2007 21:26

A so called Friend asked me , when Ellie was around 3 or 4 "would you put her in a home "

anniebear · 11/07/2007 21:27

er...Nope!!!! Shes 3!!!!! Now, I ,myself feel like going to a home!!! (an OAP one)

Im that tired and wrinkled I would fit in great!!!!

mum2seb · 12/07/2007 14:41

My ds1 has Spina Bifida, and I'm often asked if his back is better yet!!!!! Or, "He's not still in nappies, is he?" (He's 3, so it wouldn't be unusual if he didn't have SB, surely!). I just feel sorry for their ignorance and lack of tact (All of this is usually said in front of ds - after all, if his legs don't work properly, that'll affect his ears!!!).

lourobert · 12/07/2007 15:16

I get told all the time....Louis couldn't have a better mummy!!! hmmmm little do they know how it really is. Although im feeling positive now I know next week Ill hit a major slump next week and feel all sorry for myself and 'why us'. I know people mean well but I would prefer to hear .....aint life a bitch sometimes but you gotta just get on with it cos no-on else will. Cant argue with that can i

sarah293 · 12/07/2007 17:20

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mum2seb · 12/07/2007 20:55

How about "God chose you for your special boy because you're a special person" !!!!!!!!! Some people really do need a good slap!

sparklygothkat · 12/07/2007 23:08

I get 'aww at least he is bright!!' Yes he has CP and is very bright but his CP will not hold him back..