Sorry but this is going to be long! I posted this originally in SN Chat, not realising there was an SN education board
DS is 9yo and in his first year of middle school (year 5). He has ASD, hypermobility, and some degree of social-emotional development delay.
His intellectual function is variable. Verbal comprehension is on the 77th centile whereas his Visual Spatial awareness, Fluid Reasoning, and Processing Speed are on the 23rd, 27th, and 18th centiles. His high verbal skills mean people often overestimate his other cognitive abilities and don't realise that he needs support with the other areas. His neurodevelopment team made several recommendations on what support he needs including specific teaching and named key worker support with social interactions, supervision due to social naivety and associated vulnerability, a named staff member responsible for checking in with him, work around emotional literacy, and so on.
School were on board with applying for an EHCP and said they were starting to gather evidence. They have now said that as he is not behind with his work they are now not applying for an EHCP and a Pupil Passport letting staff know his difficulties and how to support him will suffice.
Sigh.
We had a meeting with the SENCO yesterday and his Pupil Passport has the wrong photograph on it, the photograph is to identify him to staff so they can see which child the profile applies to. Totally different child on the front of his which is a small thing but infuriating all the same.
His profile said he has ASD, hypermobility, and ADHD. He does not have ADHD and there was no mention of his sensory processing problems or social-emotional developmental delay.
It lists his difficulties as:
- fidgets
- difficult to concentrate
- doesn't seek help
- poor handwriting
It says he needs:
- a wobble cushion, thera-band on his chair legs, and writing slope
- thera-putty in registration only (he fiddles with it otherwise)
- time to process
- one task at a time
- to be asked if he needs help
- not to make him rewrite his work
To help himself he needs to:
- use his equipment appropriately
- ask for help when needs it
There are recommendations in his diagnosis report that aren't mentioned and school don't appear to have even read it as they weren't aware of them when I mentioned them and said they were "sure" there is a copy of it "somewhere". There should be two copies as the clinic sent them one and I handed in a photocopy to school reception.
We've had some incidents since he started in September.
- they have a snack trolley at break time and he was buying 3+ items every morning then his lunch not even an hour later. He cannot self-regulate so will eat until he vomits. School told him he could only have one item which of course didn't work and eventually assigned one of the playground staff to supervise the snack trolley and discretely prevent him from buying more than one item. She retired three weeks ago and, in their own words, they forgot (FFS) to tell her replacement that part of her job role is to watch him at break time so of course with no one watching him he immediately went back to binging at break time. They've assured me now that "all staff are aware he needs to be watched".
- we have had many, many instances of him misinterpreting social interactions and coming home to say that so-and-so has been really mean to him when so-and-so did no such thing as well as the opposite where such-and-such is his best friend but it turns out that such-and-such is actually being foul towards him.
- they went a residential trip of three days where we were assured he would be supervised. He came home in the same clothes he left in, down to his underwear and socks, caked in mud. Turns out he hadn't gotten changed once the whole time he was there, including sleeping in his dirty clothes, because he wasn't sure how to re-pack his bag so decided to simply leave it packed and with no one prompting him to wash/change/brush his teeth he just didn't.
- He won't tolerate crossover between home and school so homework is a trial. Whole weekends can be given over to screaming and meltdowns over doing homework, he'll tear up books, cry, meltdown, and so on. School are aware of this and that he will do what he can, usually we set a time limit and whatever he's completed is what we hand in. They get weekly maths homework and also four week long 'topic' projects where they have to complete a minimum of four tasks self-chosen from a list of twelve. The latest one was holiday themed and he managed to complete one and a half tasks. School gave him a demerit for not completing maths homework despite knowing all this.
- last week he brushed a girl's hair away from his face in the lunch line, not understanding personal space and not touching people. She slapped him for "pulling" her hair and then got her boyfriend to come over and slap him twice more. He didn't tell staff, despite it being hard enough to leave a hand-shaped bruise on the side of his head and when a staff member checked in with him later that day (they ask twice a day if he's okay due to him not seeking help) he said he was fine. As soon as he came home he exploded and then we got the details from him of what had happened.
- when instructions are given to the whole class he doesn't realise they apply to him unless he's specifically named so he doesn't realise he needs to write things in his homework diary like things needed on specific days (e.g., bring in a peach for home economics). Staff have said they will write it down for him but it's hit and miss as they forget or they don't realise they need to do it
- he regularly loses kit and equipment, his PE kit went missing for three weeks after he left it somewhere in school and couldn't remember where. Ditto water bottles, jumpers, his locker key, etc. They turn up in the strangest of places, for example his swimming kit turned up on the top of a six foot high locker bank which is an unlikely place for him to have left it and gives me the sneaking suspicion that other kids might be deliberately taking and hiding his things. I can't prove it so haven't said anything about it but the circumstances are tripping my radar.
- he has no friends and is desperate for some but can't initiate appropriate interactions. He's chosen the one kid who absolutely cannot stand him and has decided that they will be friends, he just has to figure out how to make it happen so he follows this kid around and the more he follows the kid around the more annoyed this kid gets and ends up snapping at him so then they end up in trouble. School have told then to stay away from each other which doesn't work as DS doesn't comprehend it and thinks if they end up as friends then he's allowed near him anyway, so school got them to sign a contract saying they'll stay away from each other with consequences set out for breaking it (demerits, detention, etc).
DH and I think he needs:
- specific teaching around social interactions and appropriate behaviours
- specific teaching around emotional literacy
- a dedicated TA to prompt him as needed, supervise his interactions and model appropriate behaviours for him, help him stay on task, ensure he's not left vulnerable, etc. Also potentially to scribe for him if needed. His writing is very poor and school are working with him at the moment on quality over quantity, that they'd rather they can have a paragraph that's readable than several pages of scrawl but that's not going to fly from next year when SATs kicks in and I know the year six English teacher is very strict and not accomodating of SEN.
- supervision on the yard and at break times, supervision to stop him binging
- non-essential homework not given to him (namely the four week long projects) and essential homework (e.g., maths) to be completed in school
- to be allowed to leave lessons two minutes early as he has equipment to carry (wobble cushion, chair bands, writing slope) from that classroom and then set up again in the next classroom. When the corridors are busy he invariably drops his kit and is then late for his next lesson plus time spent then setting it all up again. Either that or help navigating the corridors and setting up his kit.
If you're still reading then thank you.
I know I need to email school and say I'm not happy with how the meeting went and that we feel he does need the EHCP to make sure his needs are met but right now I am exhausted, I'm sick of feeling like everything is a bloody fight.
To complicate it further, the SENCO is going on maternity leave soon and is trying to get her files up to date and sorted before she does. It's giving me the sneaking suspicion that her team will be caretaking the files while she is away rather than there being a specific named SENCO and that any issues will be met with a "we will have to wait until Mrs XXXXXX comes back..."
Does anyone have any pointers or advice? Have I missed anything?