ASD and meltdowns

[Anotherday39]

Hi,

I have had another bad week with my DS (9years), who is currently under assessment for ASD/ADHD.

He refuses to go to bed by himself every night, so my husband sits with him. Sometimes for 2 hours. He won't sleep, he waits for me and demands to come to my bed. Where he falls asleep instantly. I am now sleeping with him in my bed every night. My husband is in his bed.

I have a DD (6 years) who has no issues, goes to bed fine by herself, so it's not something we are doing. I am getting fed up with family saying it's my fault, he is just not disciplined enough. His Gran shouts at him when she visits, about every little thing. Which results in more meltdowns. I am getting stressed again about their visit in 4 weeks time again.

You can't get cross with him, he goes into meltdown. You have to be like a robot.

All week I have had crying, swearing, slamming doors every morning about going to school, going to a party, going out for my husbands birthday. Everybody hates him, they bully him, I hate him and every now and then, I wish i was dead.

I'm at the end of my patience.

I could have written your post OP but reversed my 6 yr old is more challenging, and i have 9 yr old inthe spectrum.who is pretty easy tbh, I do think having your closest disbelieve you is the ultimate kicker, its a horrid betrayal ...Big hugs OP.

Don't beat yourself up. This sorts of behaviours are a complex mix of comfort seeking, sensory based and rule based behaviours. Have 2 teens with a mix of these and the rule based behaviours are often as infuriating for them as for us.