Dad needs help with toilet training his 5 year old

[Downhillrider]

My 5 year old is still in nappies I thought once he started school and seeing other child using the toilet he would come out off nappies but he’s not interested. The GP has ruled out any medical reasons as to why he shouldn’t be using the toilet.

He’s under assessment for autism, and EBD? Sorry new to all this! It’s only been mentioned in the last few weeks from his school. I am a single dad to a 5 year old boy and 2 girls age 8 and 12. I lost my wife 2 years ago.

I have been trying to get him out off nappies but he just isn’t interested he’s happy to sit in a dirty nappy. If I put him near a toilet he will scream and can end up making hisself sick. I have tried just leaving him in just underwear but he will just wee and poo in them. He hate being naked which I think could be part off the problem?

I’m really starting to struggle with nappy changing specially being a male and out in public! As there isn’t many place I can change him. Most places are inside the female changing rooms.

Any help would be great right now! I’ve got a few holiday off work coming up so I want to take the opportunity to try again. It’s been around 7 months since I last tried.

Hi
My youngest daughter was late to come out of nappies and we ended up doing things (rightly or wrongly) by using one half term when my other daughter was away, and both my DH and I were off work, to go "cold turkey" as it was, with no nappies at all. It worked for us, but that's not to say that it would work for you, as the issues for you will probably be different than for us - chronic constipation, and anxiety. I can certainly appreciate your frustration with regards to the lack of changing areas in male toilets, although some are now in the disabled faciliities.

Is your son okay if he's near a potty? is it just the toilet that scares him? Have you tried any distraction techniques at all (I'm guessing you have!)

Thank you for your reply!

I have tried the potty and we have a potty chair he will sit on that with clothes on but when you take his nappy off he will freeze up you know when your trying to get your stubborn child in the carseat or pushchair and they turn into a iron board lol. I have tried stickers, using the iPad etc etc. He just hates being naked on the bottom half! Although he's fine in the bath or shower!

Hi, I have a 3 year old who is autistic and nowhere near potty training but I was chatting to someone about this recently and they advised me to start really small and make sure they master one stage before moving on to the next.
So first of all do all his nappy changes in the bathroom with the potty visible, so they come to associate the bathroom with toileting. in your case you could then move your son into pants with the focus on him not being naked at the bottom and again changing these in the bathroom.
I read somewhere that because children who are autistic don’t always get or react to the same internal signals we get if needing to go, the wetness of an accident can actually be helpful to give them the sensory feedback to make the connection that they need changed. Once you where able to take him to the bathroom and change his pants you could introduce the idea of using the potty (lots of visual symbols) and a reward for anytime he goes? The person I was chatting to used to keep a tablet in there and let him have a play on it and found it a great motivator lol
I am by no means an expert and it’s completely different to how I potty trained my previous dc but every child is different so don’t feel any pressure and always be led by your dc, remember they will pick up on any stress you give out and this can feed their anxiety
Good luck 💐