Please tell me about your child with high functioning autism

[Mommaof2x]

After having my second and watching the difference it’s really hit me that my first most likely has asd/aspergers.
We just thought she’s behind with talking being a first born, she doesn’t like social situations that’s just her etc but then starting pre school and seeing how different she can be in social situations, her anxiety, hand flapping, particularness, tantrums, feeling to smells and noise etc and having googled what I can I think she has something. I have also read girls can mask it at school and be different at home, I always put her moods down to being tired after preschool but maybe it’s not the case

What is the next step? Do I tell the GP?
Is it best to let her carry on and see? What would happen if she does have high functioning asd?

What would school do for her?

Please tell me about your child with hf asd, what were they like at 3/4 and how do they go on to be? Does it cause a big problem? Will they go on to be happily in relationships etc? I know it’s not one type fits all. Thanks

Yes, I think pursuing a diagnosis would be useful. You can go armed to school with it - realistically you may actually be in reception before you get your final appointment, so start now!

I think it's helpful to know. There are good courses for parents on autism. You can make connections with other parents, read about it. It's helpful to know for sure.

As for what it's like to have HFA, I think there are lots of adults using #actuallyautistic on bits of social media. There's the lovely Rosie King on YouTube. There was a recent Channel 4 documentary I think called "Are You Autistic?", but it was better than its title suggests!

There's such a range of experiences. I recently met a charming young man working in IT who was kind enough to speak to me about his autism because my child is also autistic. He's a great role model. Very comforting to me to see someone content in his own skin, with friends, but with ample time by himself, living happily in very central London with a great job. (Mostly because it reminded me of myself pre kids! I could be describing exactly my old life. I need time alone but near people, and living in the total centre of London is amazing for that. Plus you can walk to work. Happy for any of my kids to get to that. It's a good place to be.)

My DD was Dxed with autism when she had just turned 4. She is now nearly 5 and in reception, doing really well. She doesn't need a 1:1 and her play-support person has just finished as has her SLT (both having advised that they thought she was doing well by herself now - but when she started school she had half an hour of SLT a week and about an hour of play support, helping encourage her/support her to interact with other kids in the playground). So it doesn't need to be a "big deal" in some sense.

On the other hand I'm very glad we know. We and school make lots of "micro-adjustments" for her. E.g. drop off can be difficult and she needed a lot of support with drop off for the first term. She doesn't like getting picked out or getting applause (school has actually given her a thumbs up instead of applause when it's been her turn to get clapped in assembly, because they know that is an issue). School made provision for her to sit out a drumming activity they had planned (as we knew in advance that she probably wouldn't be able to manage the noise). They also make special provision for fire alarms so there is always an extra adult to help her get out. She hasn't been joining in on some of the noisier activities (dance, Spanish) although she is starting to agree to go into the room and joining in with dance a little bit. She eats her lunch very slowly, which I think is so that she can have a bit of quiet time before she hits the playground (though she told me last week that outdoor play is her favourite thing at school - so she does enjoy it in small doses).

I also want to be prepared in case things get more difficult later. A lot of autistic girls can struggle when things get more socially complicated - and if that happens I will be glad to have the Dx already and not have to risk waiting for DK to get proper help.

So hopefully some of the examples show that even without "big" interventions there are lots of little things we can do to manage her anxiety and support her. I don't think we would have managed to figure it out so well if we didn't have any idea about the underlying causes: it probably would have been put down to a mixture of "shy" and "stubborn".

I second the recommendation to use the #actuallyautistic tag. I'd also look up Invisiblei, Purple Ella and Chris Bonnello on YouTube, who are all really good communicators about what it's like to be autistic, what the challenges but also what the joys are. I also like Lizzie Huxley Jones (Little Hux/Sew Many Books), who is putting together a book on Unbound of short stories by adults on the spectrum (called "Stim": unbound.com/books/stim/) which has now been funded so should be out soon.

I also have a lot of traits myself and have a lovely life. Which helps me have confidence for DD, though obviously we are different and maybe she is different in ways that will make things harder or easier for her than they were for me ... we'll just have to wait and see.

Thank you both so much for taking the time out to send these messages.
This week she hasn’t shown as much it starts to make me think maybe she’s just choosing when she is like this but then when I’m reading eg eating very slow that’s her too and seeing how they can also blend in like there’s not a problem at times makes me think I will get an assessment done.
It’s great to see and know she will be okay and I will watch those videos and check out the hashtag.

Thank you

We know our children best as parents, if you suspect anything odd or different about them, it's always good to get a second opinion especially while they r young, if you asked ur go for a referral to a paediatrician that's the best starting point, they will see you every 6 months and check how your child is doing and keep a file, and refer them to other professionals too like speech & language etc, it's much harder getting a diagnosis when they are older, and even starting school the experts will work with them for information how they are coping with other children, sensory processing etc,

My lil boy is 3/4 yrs old and we noticed things with his late development, crawling, babbling and stimulants like rocking, and rigid behaviour, flapping hands, etc he was diagnosed with high functioning Asperger/autism he had speech & language for over a year and still no progress though he would start babbling and say mama and dada, but took one step forward two steps back, and stopped saying those words, he is non verbal and uses a pecs picture exchange book to communicate, he has just been accepted for an EHCP ( educational health care plan) which means he will be going to a special school for Autism, we are happy he will receive the right support for his needs, but I would always say yes any doubt get it checked out, because schools do not have much knowledge of this and a lot of the time people think they will see what schools say and that's how kids get left behind. Trust ur own gut feeling.

chl0e123

Thanks, I wish your son the best of luck in his new school, great you got his diagnosis and early