Counselling for parents

[PandaSky]

Has anyone specifically had counselling to help come to terms with your child having a disability and the rollercoaster of emotions with the different stages of development?

DS is 18 months and was born with no eyes so no vision or light perception. He's a very happy child and brings me so much joy, but I'm really struggling with my emotions at the moment, mostly grieving the things I know we can't do. Seeing other babies and children with eyes and doing 'normal' things that sighted children do can be painful sometimes.

I'm also a solo parent and so have no one I can really talk to. Family and friends just don't seem to get it or even seem interested. I'm conscious I might be coming across as negative a lot with the snippets of conversation I have with them, when all I think I need is to safely explore my thoughts and emotions with someone in more depth.

If anyone has tried counselling, were you able to find someone who has experience with this? How did you decide who to see and did you find it helped?

I haven’t, although I’ve thought about it many times. I suppose it depends if you’re going private? Then I would find a psychologist rather than a counsellor as my own personal preference. for you OP. It is tough.

Ah yes good point on the psychologist. I think that would be better.

I'd probably go private. Nhs would be a long waiting list and then you wouldn't be able to choose who you see. I've had some counsellors in the past I just didn't click with.

I did have a quick browse to see if any charities provide or help with accessing something like this but couldn't find anything.

It might be worthwhile trying Guide Dogs to see if they're able to offer any support - www.guidedogs.org.uk/services-we-provide/children-and-young-peoples-services/family-support/

They may be able to suggest services in your area (hopefully)

Thank you I hadn't thought of contacting them. I forget they do more than just guide dogs. I've also got DS sensory support worker coming on Thursday so will see if she knows of anything. Otherwise I have put in an enquiry to a local psychologist whose profile looks good.

I did. The idea initially wasn’t that it was counselling specifically for that but that’s how it worked out in the long run and it helped massively

Just got a quote for therapy with psychologist. £170 for 90 min consultation then £110 per hour after that. Not what I was expecting!!

Hi - I have had a couple of rounds of counselling to help with my daughter’s diagnosis with cystic fibrosis. It was organised through her hospital team. It took some time to get to the top of the list but was helpful when I got it.

I have, and found it incredibly helpful. For me, it wasn't just about feelings of loss, but also a space to think about my own changed identity as a parent of a disabled child and to process everything that had 'gone on' when my son was poorly. While a psychologist is one option (this is my job), you could also consider a psychotherapist or counsellor with some specialist knowledge in this area (such as working with carers or parenting support). That might not be as costly. Also, do ask your son's Team Around the Child if they are able to access any support for you.